No. If Barack Obama had a son, he would not look like Trayvon Martin. He would look like Eric Holder (or, in this gender-fluid era, perhaps Susan Rice).

Holder, appearing before a friendly black audience today, said Florida should reconsider its Stand Your Ground Law, which relieves Floridians under threat of serious injury or death from attack of the responsibility to first try to retreat before defending themselves with deadly force.

My sources in the DOJ tell me Holder will soon propose his own testosterone-free alternatives to Florida’s insistence on not allowing violent criminals to dictate the rules of engagement between victims and predators. They include the “Run like a Frenchman Law,” the “Hide Under the Bed Law,” and the “Wet Your Pants Law.”

You read it first here.