The Washington Commies - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
The Washington Commies

It’s been almost two years since Dan Snyder, owner of the NFL team formerly known as the Washington Redskins (and still known as that in the hearts of thousands of football fans) caved into the social justice warriors and virtue signalers in the NFL front office and abandoned the name Redskins. A noble name that had served the team admirably for 87 years and harmed not one single American Indian. After a couple of years calling the former Redskins the Washington Football Team, the Washington No Names, or a host of other names that I’ll pass over in this family publication, news has reached us that the No Names are now the New Names.

I sincerely hope Snyder didn’t pay communications and marketing consultants too much money to come up with the team’s new and vacuous mascot: the Commanders.

The Commanders? (Commies for short, some have suggested.) Commanding what? With a 7-10 record on the field this past season, the Washington Football Team wasn’t in command all that often.

“As an organization, we are excited to rally and rise together as one under our new identity while paying homage to our local roots and what it means to represent the nation’s capital,” Snyder said in a statement cobbled together for him by an expert in producing meaning-free boilerplate for public consumption. This doleful development should excite no one with a pulse. Snyder rattles on: “As we kick-off our 90th season, it is important for our organization and fans to pay tribute to our past traditions, history, legacy and the greats that came before us.” Well, Dan, you could have honored your team’s history, traditions, former greats, etc., by telling the NFL’s woke busybodies to bugger off and kept the name Redskins, which survey after survey has found that the overwhelming majority of American Indians did not find offensive, and longtime fans cherished.

But Snyder wasn’t through making a fool of himself. He ended his sanctimonious statement by saying, “Today may mark the first day for the Washington Commanders, but we are and always will be Washington.” Dan stuck with the wrong name. The word Washington has far more negative connotations attached to it than Redskins has or ever had. I sentence him to put on the dunce cap and sit in the corner with Larry Dolan, owner of MLB’s Cleveland Guardians, formerly known as the Cleveland Indians, for sending Chief Wahoo back to the reservation and dropping a team name that had lived in the hearts of Cleveland baseball fans (who have suffered enough over the decades) since 1915.

I don’t know how many sports team owners have gotten their COVID vaccinations and booster shots. But it’s clear that many of them are in great need of testosterone boosters.

Larry Thornberry
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Larry Thornberry is a writer in Tampa.
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