Men suffer immensely, and nobody pays us any attention. Nobody cares about us. I’m deeply depressed as I write these lines. Headlines like these: “How does war affect men and boys?” “Six uncomfortable truths about men’s health.” “How to talk to teenagers about the feminazisphere: A Guide for Parents.” “Let’s End Violence Against Men Today.” Haven’t you seen these headlines on the U.N. website? Of course you haven’t, because they don’t exist.
If you Google “UN Women,” you’ll find a U.N. entity, created in 2010, devoted exclusively to protecting “women’s human rights,” with stories like the ones above, except aimed at women. But if you search for “UN Men,” all you’ll find is a section of the U.N. website called “Male Engagement,” devoted to nagging men into empowering women. There is no UN Men, but there is a UN Women, and suddenly I feel gravely unprotected.
It’s peculiar that the U.N. has an entire agency devoted to publishing studies like one I read today, claiming that since the rise of social media, 73 percent of women journalists have suffered “digital violence”; I assume that’s when someone throws a router at your head. I conducted a quick survey among my male colleagues, and the percentage was substantially higher, but nobody wants to talk about it: 100 percent say they’ve suffered digital violence as a result of their journalism. Dramatic. Chilling. Nothing this terrifying has been seen since the fall of Rome.
The U.N. has been committing a longstanding affront to men against men since 2010, and I’m determined to correct it by launching my own special publication, UN Men, devoted to men’s issues while faithfully following the exact same style of headlines used by UN Women. I’ve already got the mock-up ready, and our first stories will finally address this long-standing neglect of men’s problems. Here’s an exclusive preview of our upcoming headlines, reports, and groundbreaking research:
- The silent killer: the defective pants zipper.
- Why do women hire house cleaners but, if they have a husband, refuse to pay for a locksmith, a moving company, or an electrician? Their battle cry is always: “When the hell are you going to do something with your life and fix the…?”
- Public awareness campaign on male hypochondria: 99 percent of men feel misunderstood by their partners after announcing they’re having their third heart attack of the day.
- Long live free love: men have the right to love beer more than their girlfriends.
- An uncomfortable truth about violence against men by women: why do they talk to us so much?
- What does it mean to be a straight man in Woke Mecca — that is, California?
- The burden of carrying the Homer Simpson stereotype that women project onto men.
- How OnlyFans turned social media into a bear trap for men — and what it’s doing to their financial well-being.
- A new study confirms endemic, normalized, structural violence against men on family road trips: 99 percent of women force their husbands to pull over, roll down the window, and ask a random stranger for directions, a direct assault on the deepest core of male dignity.
- The other gender gap: a sociological approach to the extreme male suffering caused by an accidental blow to the testicles.
- Let’s shatter this glass ceiling (with dynamite): the suicide bomber trend results in far more male terrorist deaths than female terrorist deaths.
- How does war affect men’s mental health?
- How does an accidental scratch on the car affect men’s mental health?
- How does watching their favorite team lose affect men’s mental health?
- How does men’s mental health affect men’s mental health?
- Does anybody give a damn about men’s mental health?
I’m convinced UN Men will be a huge success. As soon as the U.N. guarantees funding for the project, I’ll be delighted to launch it. Our motto will be “HOO! HOO! HOO! RAAAAHHHH!” and I can’t describe our official emblem in case there are children present.
READ MORE from Itxu Díaz:
