After spending the whole night going over the plan, I finally leave the house at 9:01 a.m., wearing a long coat, fisherman’s boots, a raincoat, a swimming cap under a moscovite ushanka, a pair of diving goggles, latex gloves, woolly…

The more time I spend at home, the more bad things happen to me. We thought that having an untidy home was tragic, but then we tried to make it too tidy. Today at midday, I started making mashed cabbage….

I’ve started to hatch an egg. I only have three more left in the carton. I spend six hours a day squatting in chicken position with a blanket to keep the egg at exactly 29 degrees Celsius (84.2 degrees Fahrenheit)…

My mouse isn’t eating. Maybe I should unplug it from the computer and take it for a walk. Looking out the window I see the lawyer from down the road walking a leash without a dog. I’m not sure whether…

The room is nine paces long. The corridor, seven. The kitchen, five. My bedroom, four. The bathroom, two. There are 32 tiles in the bathroom. Fourteen handles in the living room. Six stains on the kitchen ceiling. And 30,219 feathers…

I wake up so peacefully. I’ve forgotten about the crisis, the coronavirus and everything about the blasted situation. So I’m a little shocked when I stumble into the living room, one eye still stuck shut, my pajamas twisted uncomfortably into…

Local supermarket, my last shopping trip. The store is packed, but the shelves are empty. I spy the last jar of La Vieja Fábrica apricot jam on the shelf. It’s mine. As I stride forwards to grasp it, a beautiful…