Staying Alive - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
Staying Alive


I awakened and looked out my window. A hummingbird was flying around facing me and a jacaranda and overlooking my immense blue pool. There were palm trees and cedars of Lebanon. It was a small bit of heaven. There was no Gestapo chasing me. No air raid sirens telling me Russian or Chinese rockets were bearing down on me.

My wife, world’s finest and kindest and smartest and most beautiful woman, was lying in bed at the other end of the hall reading Fourth Edition of AA.

Down a long flight of stairs to my kitchen. My nurse (I hurt my knee) toasted an English muffin for me. I walked across a small garden and up some stairs to my office. It’s all windows and I love it.

I am old now. I’m 77. But I am IN AMERICA. That means I can be free. I can own guns. I can support Trump one day and Biden the next. I can drink all the fresh orange juice I want. I can eat steak or Skuna Bay salmon every night. That is the best food on earth. Remember that name: Skuna Bay salmon. Or prime ribeye.

I love eating in America. Most days I have lunch at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Big blue pool. Cute girls in bikinis. Yummy fried eggs.

Then out to our house in Malibu to watch the sunset. Orange. Gray. Red. Blue. Immense waves. Swarms of seagulls. Then home along Pacific Coast Highway. The moon is as bright as a flood light on some nights.

Then home in my 600 hp Audi S8 to my wifey, a goddess. I make her dinner and then we watch Perry Mason reruns.


Please God, don’t end it with a nuclear war over Ukraine. Biden is doing a GREAT job so far. Let’s pray for peace.

And now to sleep under the watchful eye of my night nurse, Caesar, as much of a funny guy as there is.


Image: This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International license.
Ben Stein
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Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Beverly Hills and Malibu. He writes “Ben Stein’s Diary” for every issue of The American Spectator.
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