Sober Fi - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
Sober Fi
by

Be careful with that Christmas eggnog, Corporal. Get too wide and you might never see sergeant’s stripes.

Apparently the Marine Corps has subbed out its fitness for duty evaluations to the Mothers Against Drunk Lance Corporals. It is clearly supposed among the testosterone-free civilians and the house-broken generals and admirals who run Acting Private Obama’s Department of Oh-So-Sensitive Defense that modern Gunnery Sergeants can no longer determine which lean, green fighting machine is fit for duty and which not. (Washington Times report here.)

The story above does not mention the new requirements that all Marines say “Mother, may I?” and submit to alcohol counseling before being admitted to the EM club. (With so many women in the Corps now, should that be Enlisted Persons Club?) Nor does it mention the new warning labels on cans and bottles of beer purchased there: “This substance could be dangerous to your career — wouldn’t you rather have a nice herbal tea and some celery sticks?”

My sources in the DOD and the White House tell me Obama, who clearly wants warriors with the hearts of trained gerbils, will soon put forward Nanny Bloomberg as the next Commandant of the Marine Corps.

In my seven decades I have known many Marines and former Marines, all of whom would treat this candy-ass development with the contempt it deserves. I would quote some of them here, but it would turn the air blue and cause wide-spread fainting among progressive readers.

Larry Thornberry
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Larry Thornberry is a writer in Tampa.
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