Now they tell us. “Let’s be honest, the value of the luxury gifts and loans involved in the case, $177,000, is pretty petty,” writes the Washington Post’s Petula Dvorak for the prosecution in the case of the Virginia McDonnells vs. the U.S. which found the accused guilty on most counts. Isn’t it strange that Barack Obama received at least that amount in value from his Chicago backer Tony Rezko, who now sits in jail, while the Rezko equivalent in the McDonnell affair enjoys immunity while those he testified against face many long years in the pen. But who said life would be fair in a two-party state?
Of course, serves Bob McDonnell right. Columnist Dvorak makes much of evidence that showed he enjoyed an all-expenses paid round at “a fancy golf resort, where green fees for a day can run more the $2,000.” Whereas our dear president no doubt has as much spent on him for an early morning round at even fancier venues, not counting more expensive rates for afternoon rounds. And that’s not even mentioning the costs of weekend rounds — and the fact that no one else outside of the president’s party is allowed to join him on the course while he pursues his addiction.
True, we should compliment our leader for making the ultimate sacrifice of leaving his clubs at home, or at least on the plane, during his brief visit to Estonia. And from what we hear he was tricked into traveling to Wales on the grounds that he would be attending a Save the Whales event. Hope he wasn’t too hard on Norway’s whale habit. Let’s pray it’s at a manageable stage.
The NFL season has kicked off and what’s in the Daily News? We’ll tell you what’s not in the Daily News. The name of a Washington team called the Redskins. They’d have you believe it’s happening all over, despite new reports that 71 percent of couch potatoes and sports bar aficionados are just totally fine with the Redskins’ name. ESPN took a break from its practice squad coverage to twist the poll results into one salty pretzel, claiming the 71 percent finding is down from 89 percent “when the question was first asked 22 years ago.” Assuming another 18-point drop over the next 22 years, we predict the Redskins name will reach minority status just as the sport itself is outlawed and the McDonnells are released from prison.
Where will Joe Biden be then? Probably cruising the unemployed streets of Dover in his fancy yellow Corvette. The Jonnie Williamses of Delaware sure did take good care of him over the years. Nothing like a macho ’Vette to remind him and us of how well he’s done. Would Bob McDonnell have been left alone had he spent a weekend driving an American-made machine instead of a vroom-vroom Ferrari?
Some things we will never discover. Not even the names of Joe Biden’s former colleagues who’ve made very unpleasant comments to New York Senator Kirsten Gillibrand about her weight or lack of it. So terrorized was she by their remarks that she never reported the guilty parties to the authorities, at the risk of who knows how many more emboldened advances toward Sen. Gillibrand’s female colleagues. Turns out she’s saved up all her stories about those gauche guys, who in best Daily News style remain unnamed, for the book she’s about to publish. Aha, the titillating profit motive. Let’s not view it as any sort of corruption, though. Or at least not so long as her royalties don’t surpass $177,000. Is she our EOW? You need to ask? We don’t expect to join her in the Senate anytime soon.
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