Kim Kardashian is doing her civic duty and encouraging her Twitter and Instagram followers to vote today. She, herself, is apparently planning to vote for Barack Obama. Which will be difficult because Barack Obama himself is not on the ballot.
I suppose we could be generous and acknowledge that, perhaps, Kim is voting to preserve Barack Obama’s agenda, which, perhaps unknown to Kim, includes punishing her and her husband Kanye West for their undeserved fame and conspicuous over-consumption, hers earned by starring in a sex tape, and his earned by being a rapper who was pretty good ten years ago but insists on continuing to make records. But that would imply we think Kim has thought long and hard about this and the evidence seems to show that Kim Kardashian has never thought long and hard about anything.
Oh, and in case you need another to bemoan the fate of humanity, besides the fact that hundreds of people will probably take Kim’s advice when voting today, that image included in Kim’s Tweet isn’t just a random cartoon. It’s a still from Kim’s mobile phone game, Kim Kardashian: Hollywood, where players compete to ascend through the ranks of fame by following in Kim’s footsteps: by self-promoting, attending parties, dressing in clothes three sizes too small and flirting with random strangers (I am not making this up). The app is currently the #10 highest grossing app in Apple’s store, bringing in almost a quarter million dollars per day. It has already earned an estimated $200 million, and stands to net Kim Kardashian around $85 million, thus ensuring that we’ll continue to hear about her political predilections for years and years and years to come.
So, vote, America. Vote like the lives of your children depend on it.