Democrats to Sue God? - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
Democrats to Sue God?

Most of the polls call for a narrow victory for Mitt Romney tomorrow in Florida. For this reason all manner of liberal groups are laying the groundwork for lawsuits against the results on a host of nonsensical grounds. They may now have new one.

One of these groups’ favorite japes is that the new schedule of early voting in Florida, adopted last year by a Republican dominated Florida Legislature, keeps minority voters away from the polls. How this new schedule, which contains as many voting hours as the old one, keeps minority voters away from the polls more than majority ones, they never explain. But as alert political observers have noticed, there are benefits to being a liberal, including never having to give coherent reasons for your goofy positions, or admitting after your policies fail that you were wrong.

The new reason for challenging a Romney win in Florida may literally fall on Democrats (Republicans too, but this doesn’t matter). The weather gnomes the “Tampa Daily Bugle” consults with say there is a 60 percent chance of rain tomorrow in Tampa and thereabouts. As the rain is part of a front advancing on the entire state, there are doubtless similar forecasts across Florida.

History tells us that Republicans are more likely to do their civic duty on Election Day in foul weather than Democrats are (why this should be so has never been discovered, and it’s probably a hate crime now to even look into the matter). So please add the weather to the ever-lengthening list of things that liberals whine are just NOT FAIR!!

The demons for fairness in the Florida Democratic Party are not going to take this sitting down. My well-placed sources tell me the party is even now preparing a lawsuit against God if He allows the politically critical I-4 Corridor to be water-cooled tomorrow. Of course, there’s not a court high enough in this world to hear this one. But Florida’s own Debbie Wasserperson Schultz, chairwoman person of the Democratic Party, doesn’t know this.

Larry Thornberry
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Larry Thornberry is a writer in Tampa.
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