Not that any of you watch cable television, but there’s been a small epidemic of female-driven primetime dramas about what it’s like inside the office of the Secretary of State. In pretty much every iteration, a plucky, courageous and outspoken, if somewhat inexperienced low-level CIA or State Department staffer, has their brillance recognized when they’re shoved into the Secretary of State position. These blonde, pantsuited heroines, whose profiles are clearly based on no one in particular, are forced to navigate the torrid waters of foreign policy, while holding down their positions as Mama Bear to unruly children and an inattentive husband at home. To accomplish this, they wear dark-rimmed glasses to look smarter and say Very Serious Things while standing in rooms with lots of computers with maps on them.
Katherine Heigl plays a Hillary clone in the drama, State of Affairs, which is undeniably terrible, and not just by television standards. Recently, it barely squeaked by Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer to a strong middle finish in the Monday primetime ratings, and to make matters worse, the CIA has started using the show as a demonstration on how they don’t do things.
The CIA is watching Katherine Heigl … but she’s not in danger.
Turns out the super-secret agency is fixated on Katherine’s new show, “State of Affairs” … to the point of challenging the authenticity of the program and even live tweeting the way Washington really operates.
A CIA spokesperson tells TMZ … “State of Affairs” helps the agency “counter popular myths and misconceptions about the Agency …” The spokesperson adds social media is the perfect way to get the message out, at the same time the show airs.
Apparently, the CIA has recognized that America’s collective dislike of Katherine Heigl is the ultimate vehicle to use to explain why the government could never operate as efficiently as it does on television. By tapping into the undercurrent of State of Affairs hate-watchers, they’re able to actually show interested watchers how the CIA has adapted to new technology, keeps the President safe, and matches its shoes to its belt. No, I’m kidding. This is the anything-goes Obama Administration. They are definitely no rules as far as color coordination.
Anyway, the CIA will be very disappointed when NBC puts the show out of its misery in favor of Biggest Loser: All Stars or Celebrity Fat Camp.