Berry Berry Bad Baseball - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
Berry Berry Bad Baseball

With the wrapping paper barely off of a new and very controversial $634 million ballyard, paid for mostly by taxpayers, the Miami Marlins, channeling Charles O. Finley, follow an awful season with a player fire sale (See Aaron Goldstein here) and the promise of a rebuilding year or three. Miami baseball fans have every reason to be torqued, and have every reason to spend their 2013 summer evenings somewhere other than Taxpayer Stadium.

The Marlins/Blue Jays trade features seasoned and talented players learning the words to “Oh Canada” while “prospects,” aka young and cheap players, make their way south to Miami. Some of these players are talented, but have a lot of baseball to learn and still require notes from their mothers to travel to away games.

The swap put off enough of an odor to attract the attention of Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig, who says he’s looking into it and will do “what’s in the best interest of the sport.” It’s not clear yet what this means, but long-time baseball fans will recall Bowie Kuhn, who likely would have already lowered the hammer on this one.

In Spanish-speaking Miami, the most exciting and dynamic city in Latin America, beisbol will not be berry berry good this summer. Minnie Minoso, who turns 87 later this month, and is probably hitting frozen ropes in some old-timer’s league, could tell you that. But perhaps if the Marlins’ youngsters hustle as hard as Minnie did in his ML years, and have a fraction of the talent Minnie had, the Marlins will salvage a few Ws before next October.  

Larry Thornberry
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Larry Thornberry is a writer in Tampa.
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