Teapots are mostly obsolete these days, but they cling to a vestigial utility in Washington, D.C., where they are used to house tempests. The large-T Shakespearean Tempests still play out on grand stages, but the small-t picayune peccadilloes prefer the contained atmosphere of the teapot.

The latest such imbroglio to engage the cognoscenti involves Donald Trump and his failure to tell some boob in New Hampshire that President Obama is not a Muslim. This critique is leveled, oddly enough, by the same folks who assure us that Muslims are our most outstanding citizens. Astonishingly, at the very same time they accuse Trump of allowing the President to be slandered as a Muslim, they berate Ben Carson for claiming that being Muslim is a detriment to a President. If you can unravel that twisted skein of logic, you are a better man than I, Charlie Brown.

In the interests of full disclosure, I confess here to being accosted regularly by political geniuses who announce with a flourish that Obama is definitely a Muslim. Shame on me, I handle them just as did Donald. I grunt some indecipherable acknowledgment that words have been uttered in my general vicinity, and pray they will pipe down on their own account.

Perhaps now Stephanopoulos will summon me to his show to dress me down for my insensitivity. My answer for George is ready: “Of course Obama is not a Muslim… everybody knows that… he supports gay marriage!” Or how about this snarkier version: “Well, I know he is not a Christian because he supports gay marriage, but I really don’t know enough about the Muslim faith to comment… tell me, what do the imams say on the subject?”

To Donald’s credit, he was nice enough not to insult the guy, despite knowing he could never get that guy’s vote. That will be entered in his name on behalf of Hillary Clinton by his unionized caregiver on the psych ward. Just like every Alzheimer’s patient, every stroke victim, every paralyzed patient in hospitals and nursing homes across the country; Democrat voters all by proxy!

Yet this misses the larger point. There is no reason for anyone to defend Barack Obama. Ever. From anyone. At All. In any situation, public or in private.

The reason is simple. Barack Obama is a bully. He is the first President in my lifetime to use bullying as his primary pulpit. In addition to serving Jimmy Carter’s second term, he is serving Aaron Burr’s first term. So I say to the Muslim conspiratorialists, the Kenya birthers, the Indonesia midrassa mooks, the Occidental College missing records hounds, the Tony Rezko shady purchase of Chicago property sharks, bring it on… bully for you!

OBAMA IS A BULLY. He is the only President who actively bullied the Supreme Court. First he called them out to their faces at the State of the Union speech, over their decision on campaign finance. Then he threatened them that any action to undo Obamacare would be viewed as an “unprecedented” intrusion into the realm of the executive and the legislative. Utter nonsense, of course, but whatever their religions were earlier, they are now all quakers.

He bullies the Republicans in the Senate and House into submission. He slams them in public and he snubs them in private. When they oppose tax increases, he accuses them of being interested only in corporate jets and protecting the One Percent. When they challenge all the money he spends on alternative fuels, Solyndra’s Folly, he scorns them as flat earthers (and they lack the moxie to mock him as an alchemist). He sneered at Senator Coburn who challenged him on Obamacare. In the case of Paul Ryan, Obama invited him to an event, seated him in the front row facing him, then slammed him for his positions.

He bullies businesses. He broke up General Motors through intimidation and rebuilt it to his liking, then he attacked the big insurance companies to the point their employees were afraid to show up to work. When BP had an accident that caused an oil spill, he bullied them into paying 20 billion dollars without due process or a court hearing of any kind.

He bullies religious leaders. At the National Prayer Breakfast he put down Christians for having an Inquisition and Crusades in their long-ago history. He made Georgetown University cover the cross behind his podium when he spoke there. He forced religious institutions and hospitals to pay for abortion and other quasi-medical procedures they oppose. And in his annual call to a group of Jewish rabbis, he does all the talking and never allows them to offer an opinion, while asserting he is the greatest expert on Judaism in the history of the Presidency.

In short, Obama is no mensch. And if his friends want us to defend him as Christian, let them first muzzle ’im.