The American Spectator‘s annual soiree — the Robert L. Bartley Dinner — was a grand success. The guests arrived to find copies of the L.L. Bean catalog at their tables. What could this mean? It was not until after dinner that R. Emmett Tyrrell explained that this catalog is full of clothing and supplies for the wilderness, which is where conservatives are now.

Gala guests were roughing it Wednesday night in the rustic environs of the Mandarin Oriental Hotel, dining on roasted duck. The meal was prepared in the manner of nouvelle cuisine, which is French for “expensive.” Most chefs go to cooking school. But to prepare nouvelle cuisine, you must study modern art. The salad was abstract expressionist, and the dessert was apparently inspired by Modigliani.

Mr. Tyrrell explained that conservatives have been banished to a long exile in the wilderness, and that it is fortunate we will be joined there by the governor of Alaska, who is reportedly an excellent moose-hunter. Mr. Tyrrell also noted that our next president’s promise to “fix the broken government in Washington” is significant, considering that Obama comes from Mayor Daley’s Chicago, a place where “the word ‘fix’ is pregnant with meaning.”

Our editor’s stern and sober warnings about the wilderness were followed with light-hearted entertainment — a speech by Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito, who told the story of how the American Spectator had once rejected an article he submitted in the early 1980s.

Afterwards, all the guests seemed to agree with Mr. Tyrrell’s assertion that this wilderness excursion should prove to be “quite amusing” for conservatives. Especially now that the Spectator has convinced Andrew Sullivan that Joe the Plumber is among our contributors.