Who Needs Siberia? - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
Who Needs Siberia?

Enemy of the Day, Day 2, builds on Day 1, as yesterday’s laureate, Virginia House Del. Joseph Morrissey, sex offender, seems to bow to pressure and resigns his seat — only to make his resignation effective January 13, which is the date of a special election already announced for his seat for which he intends to run again on said date. This time Democrats and Republicans promise to have him expelled for good, which in fine Virginia fashion might include having him walk the plank. Even Bill Clinton’s friend and enabler, Gov. Terry McAuliffe, wants Morrissey gone — “for good,” according to the Washington Post, which unlike a day earlier didn’t shy from calling him a Democrat, at least of the Richmond persuasion. Of course, a little later in its report  the Post also let it be known that Morrissey “has never been wildly popular even among Democrats.” With so much washing of hands, how can anyone say Virginia politics is dirty?

In the big state of Russia, electoral manipulators enjoy a better reputation. The champ of champs is the wild bear wrestler and steppe horse rider V.V. Putin, a very disciplined player who’s yet to be linked to any sexual scandal. As it happens, he was asked about his love life toward the end of his marathon end of year press conference yesterday. “Everything is fine,” he replied, adding to his mystique as “Russia’s top bachelor.” No Pussy Rioter he. But he does have a weakness for lucre, it’s been alleged elsewhere. And given the alarming collapse of Putinomics and a ruble reduced to rubble, he just may be being flummoxed by his American nemesis in ways he’s yet to attack him for. We all know about Gospodin Putin’s unhappiness with the sanctions our president has imposed on Crimea- and Ukraine-assaulting Russia. But what about the stimulus package that’s being prepared for Vladimir himself? A comment in yesterday’s New York Times by a White House operative ostensibly named Jem Cruddup provided its outlines:

A recent book on Putin’s methodical pilfering of Russia’s assets (Re: “Putin’s Kleptocracy: Who Owns Russia?”) estimates that he has about $40 billion in personal wealth. Certainly some Russians must be aware of this. Why are no Russians demanding that Putin give about $35 billion back in this time of hardship? (This would leave Putin with a comfortable $5 billion.)

Enemy Central has forwarded the above note to the highest echelons of President Obama’s economics team — just to give our president appropriate cover. What other American president has ever gone international with such a bold redistributionist plan?

No wonder pretty Putin is blaming all his problems on America the Beautiful. As the AP reported from the press conference, “His fierce defiance toward the United States flared throughout as he insisted the West was trying to destroy Russia to grab Siberia’s great natural resources.” Certainly a more confident Russian leader would be delighted to lure his enemies to Siberia where traditionally the only grabbing they’d do is of a stale piece of bread if not the electric wire behind which he’s imprisoned them.

Mr. P. is being flummoxed on sundry fronts. He even conceded yesterday that Russia needs to “diversify” its economy so to be less dependent on energy exports. Good luck with that. Maybe it should first try to diversify its vodka-export business. Vlad could show the way by starting to sip martinis at international and domestic gatherings alike. And he’s got to get over his Russian bear complex and how under threat the beast supposedly is from the West — when all it wants to do is sit in the forest “eating honey and berries instead.” We recommend our Enemy of the Day visit Yellowstone National Park, where the happy bears all speak Russian and regale tourists with readings from Krylov’s Fables.

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