President Obama is getting desperate.

With only two weeks left before Obamacare’s March 31 sign-up deadline, I say we waltz down memory lane and recall some of Obama’s silliest attempts to promote socialized welfare, culminating with his most recent stunt – revealing his NCAA bracket and the “16 Sweetest Reasons to Get Covered.”

Let’s start with these Colorado ads that just scream “stereotyping”. We have “Brosurance” brought to us by keg-standing frat-brothers:

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Not sensational enough for you? How about this woman getting ready for a hot one-night stand?

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However, if heterosexual sex offends you, worry not. Watch these homosexual elves perform in this Christmas-themed ad: 

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Still not convinced? If you are a young adult signing up for health insurance, you are likely over the age of 26. But still, that doesn’t make you too old for a scolding from Mom:

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Most recently, Obama decided to take on the role of stand-up comedian and appear on Zach Galifianakis’s show “Between Two Ferns” to shamelessly plug Obamacare.

And then there’s tonight. The president plans to release his NCAA bracket along with those sixteen sweet reasons to get enrolled—now. If these ads are any indication of what’s to come, I think Americans will find themselves sorely disappointed.

Along with his bracket, White House officials will appear in interviews promoting Obamacare, famous people will sing its praises in television ads, and famous college basketball coaches will push for increased enrollment.

But if this was such a good idea, why is Obama scrambling to find 2 million more people to hurry up and get covered?

Unfortunately for Obama, drunk men, loose women, boxer briefs, nagging moms, two ferns, and a basketball bracket just aren’t enough to convince Americans that losing their health insurance and doctors was worth it.

Let just say Obamacare won’t make it to the finals.