The DNC Issues a Helpful Handbook for Ruining Christmas - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
The DNC Issues a Helpful Handbook for Ruining Christmas

Back around Thanksgiving, Think Progress released a set of talking points that liberals could take with them to the Thanksgiving dinner table just in case someone got a little to hopped up on cranberry sauce and started in on Obamacare. It was full of not-super-helpful, poorly-researched “facts” that could be easily accessed between courses, turning what would otherwise be a quietly resentful family gathering into an all out blood feud.

Since that was clearly so successful – as there were no recorded Thanksgiving murders related directly to political chat – the DNC has decided to release a second edition: a “virtual pamphlet” that will provide you with simple, on-the-go rebuttals to “your Republican uncle,” because clearly only elderly males would consider themselves aligned with a more conservative ideology. The pamphlet is, howver, much better than the Think Progress manual. Instead of covering only one topic (Obamacare), the pamphlet fields a variety of hot-button issues, and snaps them back into the outfield with the subtle ease that can only be found with total self-delusion. 


According to the DNC, the November election results weren’t a widespread dismissal of Democratic policies, because voters approved non-binding minimul wage measures and voted down “personhood amendments,” which even National Right to Life, the nation’s foremost pro-life organization, opposed. And Democrats have much to be excited for for 2016! The Republicans might run someone with the last name of Bush! And they don’t have to run a second time on Obama’s record!

The pamphlet also recycles the tired idea that women make only $.78 to every dollar a man makes, which works out only if you fail to take into consideration any factor affecting anyone’s work life except their basic pay, quantified without regard to reality. It confuses the national debt with budget deficits, it implicates Paul Ryan in raising taxes as though this were still 2011, it ignores pending litigation over Obamacare spurred on by Jonathan Gruber’s snide comments about Democratic voters, and completely fails to address the executive action on immigration. Frankly, for something that probably cost DNC donors a pretty penny to publish, even digitally, it really doesn’t hit any of the points the less demure Republicans will be harping on over turkey legs and mashed potatoes, choosing instead to rely on strawmen and the hope that your Tea Party relative has polised off three Manhattans and a bottle of red wine before electing to take on an aging hippie or a liberal arts major with a newly-discovered political inferiority complex.

The best defense to these things is, of course, a good offense. And just as I did at Thanksgiving, I heartily recommend one thing: a nice, dark bourbon. 

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