Ferguson, Missouri is, right now, on pins and needles, waiting for the grand jury’s decision whether or not to charge Officer Darren Wilson in the death of Michael Brown. On Monday, Missouri Governor Jay Nixon declared a state of emergency and called in the national guard, and today, he announced a small coalition of pastors, law enforcement professionals and others, who will be charged with helping Ferguson recover and rebuild from months of protests.
But while entertainers have visited the city to cheer on the Ferguson protesters, no one has really gone all in on the protests themselves.
That is, no one has really gone all in on the protests themselves, until now. Last September, the world’s worst rock band, Nickelback, released a Ferguson protest song that two million people subjected themselves to on YouTube. The song is titled “Edge of a Revolution,” it’s everything you’ve come to expect from Nickelback, with a bonus dose of political philosophy, no doubt borne out of the experiences of their hardscrabble Canadian upbringings, and, like, ten minutes of live Ferguson footage Chad Kroeger saw once on CNN.
You don’t need to say anything, dear readers, I know you’re grateful. If you don’t want to gift your ears with the lilting tones of nineties alternative rock, you can read the lyrics, which Reason Magazine has handily transcribed.
To be fair, I kind of understand what Nickelback is trying to do here. If there’s anything that can unite two warring factions as diametrically opposed as the Ferguson protesters and the militarized Ferguson police department, its their shared hatred of the band that inspired a nation of undersized henleys and tribal tattoos. We can only hope that Nickelback doesn’t stop at merely releasing the protest single, but insists on performing the song at the protests themselves. There would be no quicker way to disperse them. Because after all, while we might occasionally need a revolutuion, that revolution can never, ever, ever be inspired by Nickelback.