PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT TO MY TAS READERS:
My New Year 2o22 Resolution for my readers at The American Spectator is to:
1. Reduce all my 2,000–3,000-word articles to the same trim-and-svelte 800–1,200-word lengths that normal columnists write, and
2. Publish twice-weekly on predictable days, i.e. the same two days each week, the way Krauthammer always appeared on Fridays, and Thiessen always appears on Tuesdays and Thursdays (except all the times he doesn’t). (Any preferences for which two days? Lemme know.)
3. And now you can follow me on Twitter at @DovFischerRabbi
Inasmuch as this article is among the last things I am writing in pre-Resolution 2021, it concludes the usual two-part 5,000 (five thousand) words that my annual Year-End reviews always run. And, besides, who makes a New Year’s Resolution without breaking it at least once? Part One of my Year-End Review is found here. And now for Part Two:
We lost Rush Limbaugh. May G-d rest his precious soul. In many ways, he saved our Republic again and again, uniquely leveraging the medium of Talk Radio to pierce through the otherwise-impenetrable “Drive-By Media” and to expose the Feminazis, the Al Sharptons (“Barack the Magic”) and Barney Franks (the “Banking Queen”) and all the others. More than anyone else, Rush probably accounts for the 1994 GOP takeover of the House after forty years in the Wilderness. He sustained us politically through the years of lean, and he guided us during the years of plenty. We will never forget the man at the Excellence-in-Broadcasting booth with “talent on loan from Gawd.” He is the spiritual father of pundits Sean Hannity, Mark Levin, Laura Ingraham, Dennis Prager, Hugh Hewitt, Ben Shapiro, and all who followed. Ditto.
We also had another culturally impactful figure taken from us, canceled by The Woke: Dr. Seuss. We may expose public school children to gender dysphoria, non-binary pronouns, sex-change options, critical race theory — but not to Theodor Geisel:
Do you like Green-Deal Dregs and Dem’crat Hams?
I do not like them Kam-o-Kam.
I do not like them in the House.
I do not like them in Omar’s spouse(s).
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like them — long as I remember.
But I like the change coming in November.
After Justice Amy Coney Barrett was confirmed to the U.S. Supreme Court, Democrats vowed to pack the Court with 1,619 Leftists in the model of Justice Sotomayor. When Joe Manchin hesitated, Pelosi instead ordered the Library of Congress to change the text of all majority, concurring, and dissenting SCOTUS opinions published between 1937 and 1971 so that the name of former Justice Hugo Black (who was Caucasian) now reads “Hugo African-american-person-of-color.” LeBron James protested, asserting the House did not go far enough to honor Hugo and needed to authorize reparations to the deceased justice’s descendants. Black Lives Matter philosophically entered the policy debate by burning down nine inner cities, symbolically recalling that the Yugo automobile never could travel faster than 9 mph except when shoved down a cliff. In an especially poignant moment further binding Black Lives Matter with automobiles, three BLM aficionados violently car-jacked vehicles belonging to Democrat lawmakers who support “Defund Police” and “No Bail” initiatives: (i) Atlanta City Councilman and mayoral candidate Antonio Brown, who had voted to sequester $73 million from the city police budget, (ii) Illinois Senate Majority Leader Kimberly Lightford, who successfully had led the fight to end cash bail, and (iii) low-life Rep. Mary Gay Scanlon.
Further destroying our purest cultural icons, D.C. Comics announced that Superman always had been bisexual. They don’t call themselves “D.C.” for nothing. Indeed, Lois Lane then disclosed that the company’s corporate name actually is “AC/DC Comics.” Now we know why Clark Kent changed clothes so often in a closet. Pelosi responded by announcing that the House cafeteria now will serve only non-GMO gluten-free Kryptonite. Next year, Perry White will reveal that Great Caesar’s Ghost is transsexual, two- spirit, gender queer, pansexual, pangender, and gender variant — and now is called Great Caesar’s Fruit Salad. A coalition of Arab Muslim terrorist groups, led by Hamas declaring they are overdue on launching their next war, voted to behead Superman now that the American icon of truth and justice is revealed to be as mortal as Socrates: “Superman is a man. I am a man. All men are mortal. Therefore I am Superman.” Accordingly, they invited him for a turkey lunch at the Saudi Arabian embassy in Istanbul. The food blessing will be delivered by Rep. Emanuel Cleaver, the Democrat House theologian who ends prayers with “Amen, Awoman, Aman, Aplan, Acanal, Panama.” Selah.
Continuing with the subject — turkeys, not Superman — from the day Biden assumed office, he was guarded by the Left media from any criticism. His press conferences regularly consisted of a few staged questions he often answered by reading straight from a pre-scripted briefing book. It was like Donna Brazile shilling for Hillary at a CNN debate or town hall, with the questions secretly disclosed and the answers canned. There was no Jim Acosta–style abuse of the president or the office. Biden’s COVID failures were ignored by the media. The historic almost-overnight surge in crime rates. Record runaway inflation. Corrupted children’s education — morally corrupted, factually, pedagogically. Chaos at the southern border. When asked at a White House briefing why his administration was barring media from access at the border, he replied they will be allowed to cover the zone when he feels like letting them do so.
With the Left Ignoranti relying on their social media feeds for news, the impenetrable Iron Walls on Facebook and Twitter protecting Biden made it impossible to break through to Middle America that the emperor has no clothes. Finally, the botched Afghanistan evacuation in August changed that. While Biden and his Gen. Mark Milley were focusing the military on transgender sensitivity, flying the rainbow LGBTQIA+ flag on the roof of the American Kabul embassy on Pride Month, the evacuation deconstructed into a nightmare too photogenic and dramatic for the Left media to hide. Desperate Afghanis latched onto outside panels of departing U.S. aircraft and soon were plummeting to their deaths from the clouds — a tragically apt metaphor for a Washington administration whose very sky was falling. It was worse than the helicopter scene in Miss Saigon. Then 13 brave marines got blown up. (For “Jeopardy” contestants and others who keep score, note that Taliban tag-teams with Al Qaeda in murdering Muslims. Their NBA (Next Beheading in Afghanistan) opponents include ISIS, the Mullah Dudullah Front, and the Islamic Movement of Uzbekistan.) A turning point finally had come to America. Independents and suburban moms began asking, “What indeed has this Doofus and the Giggling Veep been doing in the White House the past eight months? Has he done anything right? Has he accomplished anything?” Suddenly, people took notice of surging crime, Critical Race Theory permeating elementary schools, the Mexican border, runaway inflation gripping the economy, public schools pushing non-binary and transgender values — even encouraging susceptible children to contemplate sex-change surgery.
America may not have accomplished much of lasting consequence for Afghanistan, but Afghanistan may have woken up America.
We next move from ISIS to Ice Cream. Jew-haters in Congress and anti-Semitic virtue signalers in ice cream marked Year 2021 by promoting new BDS boycotts of Israel. After Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, two New York socialists who built their $326 million corporate empire on occupied Indian land in Vermont, declared their Israel boycott, their franchisee in Israel revealed that his contractual independence allows him to support Jewish communities in Judea and Samaria (Jewish “West Bank settlements”). So profits from Hebrew Chunky Monkey and Kosher for Passover-Charoset ice cream actually build and expand new Jewish communities in Samaria. Yummy!
Meanwhile, in a remarkable Axios interview, Ben and Jerry themselves could not explain why they are boycotting Israel but not Texas, where the new anti-abortion law has The Woke in knots, nor Georgia, where The Woke oppose the election laws. Even the crickets went silent, listening to the air whoosh between the ears of the two utterly vapid look-alike hypocrites. Even cicadas wondered “What has befallen America in only 17 years since we last visited? Can’t we take sabbaticals any more?” Amid the BDS boycott, several left-wing campus groups, led by anti-Semites at Jewish-hostile universities like USC and Duke, passed resolutions to ban Israeli (but not Chinese) products. Two prime results: (i) It now is harder at DePaul University and Swarthmore to find Sabra hummus, which actually is manufactured in Astoria, Queens, and Oceanside, California; and (ii) Israel achieved its best all-time year attracting foreign cash, celebrating a 520 percent increase of invested foreign capital to an unprecedented $81.2 billion in value, shattering all previous funding records and up from $15.4 billion in 2020. Instead of “BDS” translating to “Boycott, Divest, Sanction” Israel, the acronym merrily highlights Israel’s “Billion Dollar Successes.”
At Swarthmore and at Barnard, the feminazis got to virtue-signal just like the BDS boys, watching their calories by reducing pita intake. In future years, when Swarthmore and Barnard girls start wrinkling and transition to lipitor statins and cold cucumbers on their eyes, their BDS ideals will be tested as they will have to refuse CT scans (invented by Israel), the flexible stent, the PillCam for gastrointestinal diagnosis, the Intel chip, computer firewalls, USB drives, Waze for GPS, Epilady, SanDisk, Dead Sea mud, and other Israeli inventions and products. Instead, the Barnard and Swarthmore girls can replace those devices with suicide belts, the only unique invention of the so-called “Palestinians.” Meanwhile, several American states, rather than boycotting, divesting, and sanctioning Israel, instead now impose full-press BDS on Unilever, Ben & Jerry’s corporate parent. New York State has dumped $111 million in Unilever stock — so far. Arizona is dumping $143 million. New Jersey $182 million. Florida $139 million. Texas more than $100 million. On Christmas Eve, Illinois joined the Unilever BDS exit parade. So far, the total amount of dumped Unilever stock exceeds one billion dollars. The shareholder-derivative class-action lawsuits cannot be far away. What began with “Jewish West Bank settlements” will end with out-of-court juicy bank settlements.
Meanwhile, another Hamas War erupted in May after Abu Mazen (aka Mahmoud Abbas) of the “Palestine” Authority once again canceled a national election when polls predicted, as usual, that he would lose to Hamas. Having been elected in January 2005, the paragon of Arab Muslim democracy now is in the 16th year of his first four-year term. For purposes of internal Arab politics, Hamas retaliated against Mazen/Abbas by launching a war against Israel to demonstrate to the “Arab Street” that Hamas fights while the octogenarian Abbas naps and guzzles bicarbonate. Hamas’s strategy included shooting over 4,000 unguided rockets randomly into Israeli civilian centers, hoping something would kill someone somewhere eventually. And they were right. Scores of their unguided rockets never made it beyond their own borders and ended up killing 91 Arabs living in Gaza. Other rockets inadvertently killed Arabs living in Israel. Because they station their rockets in Gaza apartment buildings, school yards, hospitals, and other vulnerable civilian centers, the Hamas strategy dares Israel to choose between tolerating endless rocket launchings with impunity or countering by aerial-bombing the rocket emplacements, which can lead to terrible media photographs wrongly implying that Israel targets those civilian apartments, hospitals, and schools. However, with its newer Iron Dome defense, Israel now can aerially torpedo Hamas rockets mid-air, and Israel’s evolving military technology, developed jointly with America’s defense establishment for mutually shared benefits, likewise enables pinpoint aerial strikes that obliterate targeted Hamas rocket batteries while leaving adjacent school yards, hospitals, and apartment buildings unscathed, even pristine. When the war ended, Congress voted 420-9 to replenish the spent defensive missiles. Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib opposed. Memorably, Ocasio broke down on the House floor in tears, deeply shaken by the prospect of fewer dead Jews in the future. Her staff likewise includes a Jew-hating legislative assistant, Hussain Altamimi, who calls Israel a “racist European ethnostate” built on “stolen land.” “AOC” has come to stand for “Antisemite Of Color.”
Back home, Attorney-General Merrick Garland validated the woke National School Boards Association labeling parents as “domestic terrorists” for speaking at open meetings against inculcating their public school children with Critical Race Theory and gender dysphoria. He actually ordered the FBI to investigate. At least the GOP had denied the closet radical-left Garland the lifetime seat Obama had reserved for him on the Supreme Court. Further degrading American education, the Left introduced “Woke Math,” a new academic discipline by which there are no right or wrong answers in arithmetic, only My Truth and Your Truth. So 8 + 6 + 3 = 17 is My Truth. And 8 + 6 + 3 = 863 is Your Truth. This new Woke Math will be taught to Black children in public schools to keep them behind for yet another generation. Meanwhile, the White rich liberals of San Francisco and Manhattan’s East Side who devised this nonsense will keep their kids registered in expensive private schools unaffordable for inner-city children, where scions of The Rich White Privileged will continue learning classical geometry, trigonometry, and calculus. Thus with math. Thus with grammar. Thus with history. Contemplate: What major American law firm, physicians’ medical group, or journalistic enterprise will hire today’s Black kids in twenty years if they now are educated to communicate in Ebonics, are not taught to read cursive writing, not educated to solve math problems correctly, and find themselves asking their interlocutors at job interviews “Who exactly did you mean when you spoke of — uh, I think you said — a guy named ‘Christopher Columbus’? Ya mean the guy who did the Harry Potter movies? He was around in 1492? Awesome! I didn’t know Hogwarts had slaves. And that other guy you mentioned, uh, ‘Jefferson’? Ya mean the Brother who moved on up to the East Side? I hope you don’t mind my aksing.” No wonder they desperately are “Waiting for Superman” — such a powerful documentary — and do not care a fig about his private bedroom orientation.
Also on the “Systemic Racism” front, Democrats saw a new intersectional demographic opportunity among gullible Asian-descended young voters still alive after “Squid Games” when a mental case in Atlanta shot up three Korean massage parlors he frequented. Unlike the adulterous and apparently incestuous Ilhan Omar, this sicko’s religious conscience aimed at the sources of his sin: masseuses who rubbed him the wrong way. Blaming Trump, Pelosi and the Democrats fraudulently characterized the sex addict’s wonton rampage as “anti-Asian hate crimes.” The Woke Left brought the matter to a happy ending by leveraging their “Affirmative Action” admissions policies to keep the same Asian students out of Harvard, Yale, and other prestigious universities. Biden ordered five days of national mourning and that all flags in America be flown at half-mast in memory of the murdered Sex Six victims of the masseuse misogynist. Although Democrat Defund-the-Police crime policies would lead to thousands of Black deaths in the following months, no future executive orders required flags half-erect. After the six months of elections season, Black Lives Do Not Matter to The Woke. So predictable — like clockwork: instead of being pu pu flattered as Democrats were treating Chinese voters, Blacks found themselves once again pooh-poohed.
As always, the Democrat Left abandoned Black America, tucking them back in their pockets immediately as tallies were announced. During the Trump years, the Left had been supporting the Marxist and racist Black Lives Matter association, a Jew-hating group that defaces monuments of Abraham Lincoln and Hitler opponent Raoul Wallenberg. Democrats even had lined up behind BLM to defund police, while this Jesuit Catholic-founded law school imposed the threat of cancel culture on professors who failed to profess BLM Wokeness. But now, with Trump gone and Biden in — assisted by an “African-American” giggling veep descending from half-Jamaican, half-Indo-Asian slave owners with no discernible Africa connection — Black lives no longer “mattered,” as blue Democrat cities throughout the country registered their highest Black murder-rate increases in half a century. Crime sprees often were funded materially by George Soros’s millions electing a new crop of district attorneys who do not prosecute serious property crime, downgrade felonies to misdemeanors, plead-down misdemeanors to disorderly conducts, release accused rapists and murderers without bail, and sue Donald Trump for crimes against humanity. In Biden’s 2021, the term “smash and grab” fittingly entered the American lexicon as did “deplatform” and “Let’s Go Brandon!”
The Woke finally got caught in 2021 teaching Critical Race Theory to little kids as parents overheard class brainwashings being transmitted into their homes in Zoom lectures while school buildings were shuttered. Some licensed public school teachers even tried convincing boys they really are girls with appendages, and some girls that they really are boys with two removable chest bumps. In woke state public schools, initiatives allowed children to choose non-binary pronouns and even to sex-change without parents knowing. This powerful video was a reaction.
The socialist Ocasio, who kept high-paying Amazon jobs out of her district to preserve her penurious Puerto Rican population’s punctorily picking predictable politicians like her, appeared at a 2021 fundraising gala for the Metropolitan Opera, with tickets at $35,000 a person and table sponsorships beginning at $200,000, while haute-coutered in a gazillion-dollar designer dress sporting the words “Tax the Rich.” Everyone Loves Raiment. (Recall, by the way, that Obama, the extended Biden nepotism family, Nancy Pelosi, Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, and Ilhan Omar all are multi-millionaires.) For the less well heeled, though, a 1968 Chevy Camaro stock car could be viewed racing in October at NASCAR’s Xfinity Series for much more affordable admission prices to enter that venue, with aficionados permitted even to chant “Let’s Go Brandon” — or something like that — at no extra cost.
Life finally caught up with The Cuomo Boys: #MeToo and #HeToo. It turned out that, when Andrew electorally defeated Cynthia Nixon in 2018, it had been he who was running for a leading sex-in-the-city role. Another CNN superstar, legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin, notoriously failed to keep his own tube in. Shep Smith, Chris Stirewalt, Chris Wallace, Jonah Goldberg, and Steve Hayes followed Greta Van Susteren, Megyn Kelly, and Alisyn Camerota from Ratings Glory at Fox News to new-found privacy and the hermit-like solitude offered at CNN and other such minor league outlets that even Fire Stick cannot find, where few queue to view the pew. Speaking of “queue” and “pew” — and loo — Social Justice Warriors also perambulated forward, flush with excitement, as they launched a new civil rights group, ostensibly an Anti-Defecation League, to badger U.S. Senator Kyrsten Sinema at a bathroom stall. Other similarly repulsive SJWs amassed a kayak flotilla to surround Joe Manchin’s house boat on the high seas.
The “Jeopardy” TV game show struggled to find a new host to succeed Alex Trebek, as Mike Richards was hired and rapidly fired before he could invoke “double jeopardy.” AOC may have blamed it on climate change. Oklahoma no longer is a dust bowl harbinger of death. Jen Psaki may have ascribed it to climate change. On the other hand, the NBA tweeted congratulations in mid-December to the Yeshiva University Maccabees, proud owners of the longest active winning streak in American men’s basketball at 50 games, dating back to November 9, 2019, and ESPN likewise took notice of the yarmulka‘d boys who devote four hours daily to studying the Talmud in Aramaic and other Torah texts. John Kerry may have ascribed Yeshiva’s two-year unbeaten streak to climate change. The streak ended on December 30, 2021 at 50. It also was the year that saw two Major League Baseball teams, the Washington Nationals and Arizona Diamondbacks, each draft an Orthodox Jew, one a pitcher and the other a catcher, the first two Orthodox Jews ever drafted by MLB clubs. (Because pitchers must rest their arms regularly and therefore do not play daily, and even star catchers need days off each week to restore their knees from brutally intensive crouching, players at those two positions uniquely are situated to refrain from competing on the Holy Sabbath. On the other hand, Orthodox Jews do not use batteries on Shabbat.) Elizabeth Warren, not a “member of th[at] tribe,“ may have ascribed the strange developments to climate change. Until now, only Morrie Arnovich, a 1939 All-Star with the Philadelphia Phillies, who played ten major league seasons in all, is the only major league athlete in any American sport ever who strictly observed a certified-kosher diet. (Detroit’s Hank Greenberg and the Dodgers’ Sandy Koufax famously did not play in post-season games that conflicted with the Yom Kippur high holy day.)
By November, Glenn Youngkin was winning back Virginia along with Virginia’s first winsome Black female Lieutenant Governor — Winsome Sears — and the state’s first-ever Hispanic Attorney-General, Jason Miyares. Reflecting Systemic Racism, the Left media ignored these historic firsts. Other Virginians, invoking their inner Baby Moses, presumably have started sailing newborn tykes out of state in tar-and pitch-lined wicker baskets now that outgoing unemployed Gov. Ralph Northam is available to make newborns “comfortable.” Meanwhile, ostensibly hoping to be united with their own harems of 72 Virginians, Shiite and Sunni Arab Muslims, celebrating the religion of peace, continued blowing up mosques during Friday sabbath prayers and other 2021 religious holy observances. Twelve were killed at the Kabul mosque explosion, more than 50 at the Kunduz mosque dynamiting, and 65 at the Kandahar mosque bombing. Salaam.
As the year wound down, courtroom drama heated up in the Midwest Rust Belt. Systemic Racism in the courts was on full display when Derek Chauvin was sentenced to 22-plus years — double the state sentencing guidelines — for second degree manslaughter, second degree unintentional murder, and third degree murder. His wife, an Hmong refugee from Laos and former beauty contest winner, divorced him the day before his arrest. That’s why you always leave a note. No Chauvinist she. Likewise in Minnesota, White police officer Kim Potter was convicted on manslaughter charges for killing Black Daunte Wright. The national media kindly endeavored to save Americans the time and cost of a trial in Wisconsin, entering pro bono to convict Kyle Rittenhouse of transporting firearms across state lines (did not), using an illegal firearm (was legal) and against the law (was lawful) while under age (permitted at his age) to murder Black people (all were White) in a state where he had no connection (father lives there; he is employed there), depriving America of two fine citizens (both had been convicted for crimes like pederasty and strangling). After Rittenhouse’s acquittal, attention moved to The Windy City where Jussie Smollett finally got his chance to showcase his acting skills before a jury. Excellent critics they. Smollett’s live performance persuaded the “Dozen Sworn-and-True” to reach a unanimous guilty verdict in less than 24 hours. Claiming homosexual affection for his muscle-bound African bodyguards whom he had paid to buy rope and bleach with which he could be MAGA’d while walking the frosty-freezy Chicago ‘hood long after midnight, a man of conviction in quest of a sandwich, Smollett learned the hard way why Americans do not try to scam Nigerians.
As Christmas Parade season ensued, Darrell E. Brooks, Jr. added Waukesha, Wisconsin — a mere 50 miles from Rittenhouse’s Kenosha but a world away in Left media coverage — to the 1619 Project history books. A convicted sex offender who recently had posted bail on reckless-endangerment charges, Brooks boasted a significant two-decade criminal history that included felony strangulation and suffocation, bail jumping, recklessly endangering safety, various domestic-abuse overlays, and battery. The woke Milwaukee district attorney had requested only $1,000 cash bond for our Mr. Brooks, who supports Black Lives Matter, and that is why this Black racist who nevertheless quotes Hitler generously was free in his SUV to run down innocent Whites like the “Dancing Grannies.” Note that SUVs don’t kill people; people kill people. Only days earlier, he had been accused of deliberately running over a woman he had impregnated, leaving tire tracks on her pants leg, and also punching her in the face, leaving it bloody. The Left media did not identify his color (Black) nor that of his Waukesha murder victims (White); rather, his Facebook photos revealed the ebony-ivory dichotomy. A slew of Left media outlets harmonized to report the massacre as a “car crash.” ‘Twas a shame that Brooks had not ventured out after midnight, during the freezing night before, to buy a sandwich. The number of noose-and-bleach-equipped Nigerians walking Waukesha woke walkways after midnight in MAGA country is undocumented. But so are the Biden-Kamala crowds at the Mexican border.
Further on the subject of nooses, Ghislaine Maxwell was convicted in the year’s final hours for sex trafficking in minors. Contemplating potentially spending her next 65 years in the hoosegow, the newly minted sexogenarian reacted to the verdict by seeking a COVID booster shot. Reminiscent of “Khaleesi,” the “Ghislaine” sobriquet instantly lost allure as one of America’s most common girls’ names. Will she start naming names in a plea deal? Do ducks duck? Do flies fly? Do bees be?
Will she survive 2022 if she starts talking? Who will be guarding her prison cell? Where is Jussie Smollett’s rope?
Is Pelosi ready for November 2022? Biden? Kamala? Liz Cheney?