Aaron is much more conciliatory toward, and much less overtly terrified at the thought of a Mike Huckabee Presidential campaign. I do not share his remarkable confidence that our esteemed electorate will not happily embrace the guitar-toting Southern progressive with what is left of their hearts and minds after a long and arduous primary season.
People, let’s be real. Mike Huckabee, and Rick Santorum for that matter, aren’t really Republicans. I mean, as a RINO heathen, I can obviously spot another of my species, and these two are it, though, while I’m teetering on the edge of full social anarchy, these two are the type of moderate Democrat who thinks that it would be totally appropriate to pass out a national survey on sex lives and nutritional habits, and then follow up with state-mandate counseling sessions if you so much as mentioned a Lover’s Lane catalog or a preference for chicken nuggets. And while I ascribe to Rick Santorum’s traditionalist Catholic religious beliefs, I can’t honestly say I support someone who would create that much paperwork.
Mike Huckabee is no different. His one claim to fame is that, while the field is moderating on the subject of gay marriage, he is still ardently opposed and happy to get his information on the subject of “the homosexual agenda” from pamphlets circulated by Focus on the Family sometime in the early 1990s. And yes, while that will tug at the heartstrings of a coalition of voters still pining away for the glory days of the Bush Administration, I can’t imagine it would be wildly popular enough to give up a successful television program and a burgeoning career as a boistrous, if rather prickly, cable news pundit.
Now, while all this is my own opinion, which I give you without much humility on a regular basis, my biggest contention is that Huckabee would be a decent Vice Presidential foil for someone like Jeb Bush, for whom the nomination seems all but locked up (can you tell I’m cyncial and depressed today?). While Huckabee might be appealing to social conservatives, he’s from the same politically moderate mold as Jeb himself. Literally, his only appeal is that he happens to oppose gay marriage. He would have nothing to offer as a Vice Presidential candidate except a couple of bookings in America’s heartland megachurches. If we’re going to be stuck with Jeb, we should at least have a Vice Presidential candidate who’ll bring up the lunacy of Federal Common Core standards once in a while over cocktails.
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