The Mayer of Stoopid - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
The Mayer of Stoopid
by

“Awareness works likes a vitamin. You go to the bathroom and 99 percent of it is gone but you hope that you retained 1 percent,” added John Mayer.

Don’t be fooled, Shawn. Only if we’re all as stupid as Mayer — or if our short term memories are as damaged as his — do we need, every time the sun comes up, to have our awareness raised again. Awareness works like a vitamin, like an antidepressant pill, like an anti-hair loss treatment. You have to keep taking it…for the rest of your life…or it’s all a waste. Tomorrow Darfur will mean nothing to you unless reminded. Next time you sit down to breakfast you will find yourself instead reverting to sexual practices more common before the arrival of AIDS. You will, in only a matter of hours, stand gazing upward in rapt appreciation at the towering blaze of unrecycled old tires and jarred cow farts that you thought it’d be fun to unleash on the ozone layer.

Take your medicine! Know your doses! Without daily awareness treatment, we could set the clock back on human evolution fifty years!

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