Sandra Bullock Blitzes Bowls - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
Sandra Bullock Blitzes Bowls

With my pancakes and coffee Sunday morning I ran across an Associated Press story in the Tampa Tribune sports page on how the 117 bowl games played Saturday enjoyed uniformly low television ratings. How could this happen in a football-happy country? The AP writer speculates the lack of interest may have something to do with the fact that the average margin of victory in these games was nine touchdowns. Hard to maintain interest in the fourth when your team is down 73-0.

But it’s still a puzzlement. I mean, who wouldn’t want to watch the Honey Boo Boo Bowl, which pitted the fighting Cumquats of South-East by North-West Louisiana Teachers College against Craters-of-the-Moon State. Okay, the Moonies lost all of their games this season and didn’t score a single touchdown. But they had some tough opponents, including Smith and Vassar (those babes aren’t big, but they stick like a bur).

Granted there was some tough viewing competition on Saturday. There was “Antiques Roadshow,” and the 30 thousandth re-run of “Miss Congeniality.” But how on earth could America forsake its favorite game for Sandra Bullock? (OK, she flashes some terrific hips in that “Mustang Sally” sequence, and the Michael Caine character is a gas.) It passes all understanding.

Perhaps today’s reduced line up of 96 bowl games will do better. Gotta run now. Almost kickoff time for the Can’t Block or Tackle Bowl. This one to be followed by the General Mills Cereal Bowl and the Victoria’s Secret Nearly Nekkid Bowl. This last is the one where players wear only see-through pads and a certain, uh, foundation garment.

Quite an inspiring prospect for the first Sunday afternoon of 2016, eh?  

Hmm. Wasn’t there a “Miss Congeniality 2”?

Larry Thornberry
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Larry Thornberry is a writer in Tampa.
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