I just don’t wanna.
I don’t wanna write about whether to treat homosexual relationships as “marriage,” and I don’t wanna see lawmakers do anything about it. Just a quarter century ago, just about nobody had even dreamed of such a thing as “gay marriage.” Why don’t we leave the law alone as it is, leave people free to do what they want to do behind closed doors as long as no innocents get hurt (and as long as they don’t “scare the horses”) — and have everybody, including heterosexuals, stop talking in public about what they do in the realm of sex, or about with whom they do it? Paris Hiltons and Kim Kardashians of the world, stop putting your sex life on the Internet for all to see. Lena Dunham, get a life. Sandra Fluke, get a clue. Jason Collins, keep playing basketball and otherwise just shut up. We don’t need to know.
I don’t wanna write about immigration policy, and I don’t wanna see lawmakers do anything about it. Just keep the laws the way they darn well are right now — but, for a change, actually enforce them. (Or, in the case of law-abiding immigrants, stop the bureaucratic backlog: Implement the existing laws that allow them to work and live here without making it a nightmarish hassle.) Mexico’s economy is doing better than ours right now (thanks, Mr. Obama), so there’s no current crisis that requires all this breathless scurrying around by McCainiacs. Leave our laws alone.
I don’t wanna write about gun control, and I don’t wanna see lawmakers do anything about it. Just enforce the laws we already have, and otherwise allow a free people to protect our own selves when there aren’t enough police around to do it for us. Otherwise, leave us the hell alone.
I don’t wanna write about whether or not government is providing the right guidance about which foods we should or shouldn’t eat. I don’t want government to say a bleeping word about that subject. I certainly don’t want government at any level to forbid me to eat more than a certain quantity of food. And while they’re at it, I sure wish government would stop subsidizing some of the very same food-stuffs that government busybodies tell us not to eat.
I don’t wanna write about whether insurance companies do or don’t cover abortion-inducing drugs — and I sure as heck don’t want government to force companies to cover those drugs, or to force companies to buy insurance that covers those drugs, or to do much of anything else to tell private entities what should or shouldn’t be insured, other than to make sure that contracts are understandably presented and fairly enforced. For that matter, I don’t want government to tell churches whom they can or cannot hire, or (via taxpayer-supported colleges) to tell student organizations who can or can’t serve as their officers, or to do a single thing to turn “freedom of religion” into the far more circumscribed “freedom to worship.” I don’t want to even think about government interfering with our churches in any way, shape, or form.
I don’t wanna write about a president who uses the first-person pronoun as if it is a Tourette tic. I don’t wanna write about a president who engages in a permanent campaign, or who calls a press conference the day after a national tragedy to blast his opponents for lying and accuse them of not caring for victims. I don’t want to even think about a president who turns another president’s library opening into an occasion for pushing his own policies, or who sneers at Americans who “cling” to God or guns, or who prefers fund-raising and vacationing to protecting our foreign-service personnel.
I don’t wanna write about just about anything that our political classes are doing, because they’re not doing anything I want them to do (and because they are doing too much of everything else!). I don’t wanna write about just about anything in pop culture, because almost all of it is crass and vulgar and sex-obsessed and, frankly, talentless. (And no, Lena Dunham, there isn’t any humor in slovenly, slatternly girls showing off their private parts for a national audience.) I don’t want to write about poor, put-upon athletes who are dead broke despite years of million-dollar salaries. I don’t want to write about how so few people under 30 seem capable of communicating face to face or even by telephone, rather than through the medium of a keyboard or through trying to give deeper meaning to every 140-character utterance by re-branding it with something called a hashtag. I don’t want to hear some clueless actress ramble on about the evils of human procreation, or to read about some pop-tart acting like a floozy. I don’t need some doofus singer touting the humanitarian wonders of the late Che Guevera.
And, while I’m at it, I don’t need some thugs in the Justice Department telling ordinary Americans that we’re racist while they themselves misuse the law as a cudgel to discriminate openly on the basis of race.
I can work to improve my community without anybody telling me how to. I can do my civic duties without being pushed. I can show empathy without being badgered. And I can practice Judeo-Christian charity without somebody else’s hands in my pocket.
I don’t wanna write about any of this, or even think about any of this. I just want to live my life and have all the vulgarians, including those in the Oval Office, stay out of my hair and out of my way.