Chris Christie’s simpering mug has been alongside Donald Trump for a couple months now. Bug-eyed and mopey, Christie has been tasked with important work like running to McDonald’s for his king boss (a now discredited but believable story and catchy in the way that “Goofy Elizabeth Warren”, “Little Marco”, and “Low Energy Jeb” is catchy).
I didn’t like Christie before he followed The Donald around like some possessed Little Lord Fountleroy. Now, the sight of him induces dry heaves. To hear the blowhard big mouth in the past was annoying. To see the blowhard turn into an obsequious bootlicker is nauseating.
So now, the New Jersey jaw has prostrated himself sufficiently that Donald Trump may want him as vice president. This choice says so much about Donald Trump.
You know how Joe Biden is a stupid blabbermouth? I’m convinced that Obama picked him because with Joe in the room, Obama would never have to be the dumbest guy there.
Likewise, Trump picking Chris Christie, gives Trump the sick pleasure of being the restrained one; the more couth one. Here’s a couple reasons why Chris Christie is the worst choice:
- He’s a shorter, squatter Donald. In both look, sound, and manner, anything objectionable in Donald’s image is worse with Chris Christie.
- He helps Donald win precisely zero more votes. Who will this choice appeal to? The two liberal Republicans left in New Jersey?
- He helps alienate more voters–Southerners, evangelicals, anyone who values people who aren’t Loud Talkers.
- He won’t raise money or convince anyone new to give money. Those people are already alienated (see #3).
- He has no meaningful connections to or understanding of the dopes in Congress.
- His own state hates him.
- He’s another liberal Republican with liberal ideas. He doesn’t reassure conservatives at all.
What are the chances that Donald Trump will pick Chris Christie? Pretty good. It would be a terrible decision and make the campaign even worse. Par for the course.
