Another Perspective
The Republicans Who Really Matter
Or, how you could become the next Ross Parker Brooks.
Should my advice be solicited by any ambition young writer seeking the quickest path to wealth and fame, I would outline a strategy like this:
• Establish yourself early as a “promising conservative intellectual” — Become the token conservative columnist for your college newspaper, get into a Republican youth leadership summer program, do an internship at National Review or a GOP-leaning non-profit.
• Aggressively suck up to Republican politicians — Try to land a speechwriting or “policy advisor” gig for a senator or governor who is seen as a prospect in the next presidential campaign.
• Once you’ve made a name for yourself, go “rogue” — That is to say, after leaving your job as a Republican staffer, think-tank analyst or conservative journalist, do everything possible to sabotage GOP prospects.
Followed carefully, this plan will land you a book deal before you’re 30, a regular spot as a panelist on a Sunday network news show, and a twice-weekly op-ed column in an influential newspaper.
Important magazines will devote their covers to a 5,000-word excerpt from your latest book, which must bear a provocative title like, Lose One for the Gipper: How Evangelical Extremists Hijacked the Reagan Legacy. CNN will offer you a lucrative contract as a “conservative analyst” for their coverage of GOP national convention, and you’ll be invited to all the right cocktail parties in Georgetown.
In your meteoric ascent through the ranks of the punditocracy, be sure to choose as your friends only those who are important enough to be helpful in your career. Take care never to stake yourself too clearly to any policy position that might be unfashionable with the producers of “Nightline,” and avoid directly denouncing any Democrat named Kennedy.
This way, no matter which party is in power, you’ll never be out of work and you’ll always be invited to the White House Correspondents Dinner because, after all, you’re so gosh-darn influential. In short, you will be one of The Republicans Who Really Matter.
Such prestige is never attained by anyone who is a straight-forward, down-the-line conservative, because the arbitrators of Republican prestige are not conservative. You’re not going to get favorable treatment from, say, “60 Minutes” by being a dependable voice for the grassroots GOP. Nor will any out-and-out conservative be cited as an authoritative source in the latest iteration of the twice-yearly Time magazine feature on Republican Party infighting. (Sample cover blurb: “Right-Wing Insurgency: Threat or Menace?”)
The Republicans Who Really Matter can be relied on to reinforce liberal stereotypes of the GOP, and to pen op-ed columns offering “helpful” advice to the Republican Party which, if followed, would lead to certain electoral disaster.
During the Cold War, such people always counseled friendship with the Soviet Union. They spent the 1990s alternately advocating “moderate” gun control and defending “sensible” tax increases. No Republican pundit is ever going to become influential by buddying up to Wayne LaPierre or right-to-lifers; make favorable mention of environmentalism, however, and MSNBC producers will flood your inbox with e-mail invitations to a 10-minute guest segment on “Hardball.”
One reliable method for advancing to the pinnacle as a Republican commentator is to argue that the party is badly divided, and to blame this fragmentation on some constituency universally loathed by liberals. Relentlessly criticize “Corporate America” and Rush Limbaugh, but never say a bad word about Olympia Snowe, nor write anything flattering about any Republican from Mississippi.
Another tried-and-true stratagem for the conservative craving publication on the front of the “Outlook” section of Sunday’s Washington Post: “The Conservative Case for [Insert Pet Liberal Cause Here].”
Fifty-two weeks a year, the editors of liberal newspapers are seeking thoughtful Sunday commentaries making the case for why Republicans should support late-term abortion, unrestricted immigration, tax increases, or draconian measures to limit carbon emissions. The ambitious young GOP pundit who plays his cards just right can rotate his Sundays between the op-ed pages of the New York Times, the Boston Globe, the Chicago Tribune, and so forth.
Of course, it goes without saying that any liberal who tries to reverse-engineer this formula will soon find himself ostracized from polite society. Fame and fortune await the Weekly Standard staffer who denounces fellow conservatives as mean-spirited bigots; poverty and obscurity is the fate of the Nation columnist who loses faith in feminism or gay rights.
No, only GOP quislings and conservative turncoats can enhance their social status by plunging knives into the backs of their alleged ideological allies and partisan friends. Somewhere out there at this very moment is the Kathleen Parker of tomorrow, the future David Gergen biding his time while waiting for the opportune moment to strike.
Today, our ambitious young assassin is just another political operative, an obscure think-tank wonk. But tomorrow — or whenever the time arrives to blame GOP woes on hateful “extremists” — he’ll be celebrated as the newest member of that elite crowd, The Republicans Who Really Matter.
About the Author
Robert Stacy McCain is co-author (with Lynn Vincent) of Donkey Cons: Sex, Crime, and Corruption in the Democratic Party (Nelson Current). He blogs at The Other McCain.
Nick| 5.18.09 @ 6:54AM
Excellent, Mr. McCain, just excellent!
Except the part about Republicans from Mississippi. Really, is there anything flattering to say about Trent Lott?
Now I know why Bob posts here!
He's hoping the Washington Post will track him down and make him a STAR!
Rod Stanton| 5.18.09 @ 7:39AM
Without naming names, places or dates this pretty much documents the God Awful collaps of the GOP the last 7 years.
What is worse is that the "GOP braintrust" (after Crist how can you say GOP leaders have brains? OXYMORON) continues to go "Hari Kari"!
Bushido no! DUMB YES!
Richard Baker| 5.18.09 @ 7:47AM
So, that's McCain's purpose in life. To become a pundit.
Kitty| 5.18.09 @ 7:57AM
Add bloggers to the list. When the election outcome became obvious before Nov. 4th, some right-wing bloggers began promoting "moderation" in a last ditch hope.
One blogger in particular now scathingly attacks the "far right" for scathingly attacking the left. He thinks a centrist approach will save the party: "A centrist and sane opposition that can win seats and influence the decisions of the day."
Reminds me of the saying: If you stand in the middle of the road, you'll get hit from both sides.
...
jim rice| 5.18.09 @ 8:07AM
Thank you! This was pretty funny :)
Aaron| 5.18.09 @ 8:12AM
RSM,
I think that you ought to put a list titled "The backstabbing Republicans Who Really Matter" on your blog site. Add them the very moment they curtsy to a Kennedy.
Why are Liberals STILL Angry?| 5.18.09 @ 8:24AM
.whose anger, inexplicably, is on the rise still even as their power has now become dictatorial and uncontested. It defies all reason, common sense, rationalization, explanation -- this is exactly the flavor of anger normal people might have when they lose control of things. After a slow and steady buildup throughout the last eleven years, the bile now runneth over...and their glorious revolution did nothing to stop its bubbling up, or even to slow it down. Instead, somehow, due to mysterious engimatic factors that will be studied by social scientists for generations, I think -- the bubbling accelerated.
I came up with the words. Blogger friend Phil supplied the labor. Now we have a bumper sticker:
Update 5/13/09: As if the point had not quite yet been made...along comes Karol, and look at what she found (hat tip to Conservative Grapevine).
As that cute old adage says, there are two kinds of people in the world; those who divide us all into two kinds of people and those who don't. Liberals seem to be unable to make up their minds about it. One minute they want to make a health care system and a tax code that will "work for everyone," the next minute they want to annihilate half of us.
Update: Back on Cinco de Mayo, Amity Shlaes summed this up very well:
In the past, politicians and policy thinkers tended to be magnanimous in victory. They and their friends focused, post- victory, on policy and strategy -- not on trashing individuals.
It ought to be especially true this time, given what wonders are befalling the Democrats. Between Arlen Specter in Pennsylvania and Al Franken in Minnesota, it looks like the Democrats are in the process of making their Senate majority filibuster-proof. Then there's the president's new opportunity to mold the Supreme Court, with the resignation of David Souter.
Still, somehow, the magnanimity isn't there. Indeed, the closer the Democrats get to total power, the nastier the commentators friendly to them have become.
Now to be fair about it, liberals worked just as hard to tell us how much their opponents suck, when the opponents were in power and the liberals were out of it; and although their tactics were childish, there was a certain logic in the strategy.
But, as I've said before: I perceive a measurable up-tick in the urgency, the drive, to clue us all in on how much conservatives suck -- now that it doesn't matter. I perceive a certain perpetual-motion device operating on a cyclical current flow. Get the word out that conservatives suck, get more power; get more power, spread the word that conservatives suck to try to get more power.
It seems to be a primal urge, almost a sexual thing. Meanwhile, isn't there a cockpit at the front of this plane, a place where things have to be done to keep things under control? How come you're back here in the coach section, Mister Pilot, jabbering away not quite so much about what a wonderful pilot you are, but about how much the other pilot sucks? Who's flying this thing?
Choey| 5.18.09 @ 8:59AM
I've always thought it was more a sense of unfulfilled entitlement. People have developed a sense of "I deserve better than this" and when The Won got elected he was going to fill their gas tank and pay their mortgage and it isn't happening. People in general, especially liberals are going to get a lot angrier before something changes.
William| 5.18.09 @ 9:49AM
"But, as I've said before: I perceive a measurable up-tick in the urgency, the drive, to clue us all in on how much conservatives suck -- now that it doesn't matter. "
It does matter. It is the vilification that will set the mood for the crackdown on the new Kulaks - us. Every utopian leftist yearns for the "liquidation of class enemies".
mmv| 5.18.09 @ 10:33AM
Great piece, I got a thrill going up my leg! A great how-to manual for those willing to suck up and back-stab their way to Sally Quinn's house.
Chet| 5.18.09 @ 10:44AM
One more time: Conservatives tend to be in positions of moderate authority in society. That means that those of us who have hire/fire capabilities should MAKE SURE that any layoffs which occur, are layoffs of those who HELPED bring about the insertion of this inexperienced punk into the highest office of the land.
They voted to essentially:
1) raise taxes on responsible achievers (YOU)
2) give themselves raises ( as lower-wage earners)
3) spread YOUR earnings around
4) limit your decision-making ( as managers )
5) give voting privileges to illegals ( it's coming..)
6) require you to pay for abortions domestically
7) require you to pay for abortions abroad
8) limit your gun ownership & usage
9) subject you to bogus climate-change BS
If someone has to be cut from the payroll, MAKE SURE it's one of THEM....
Yes, we are officially split into TWO CAMPS:
Those that achieve & earn...
Those that take from those who achieve & earn
Ran| 5.18.09 @ 12:12PM
Step Zero: Have the wisdom and foresight to arrange to be born to wealthy liberal parents who will send you to private schools and assure the costs of an Ivy League "education." Nothing guarantees a lifelong dedication to rugged individualism and libertarian principle like a pampered rearing. Upbringing. Whatever.
Pat| 5.18.09 @ 12:50PM
OK, Robert Stacy McCain, so no one is perfect, even Republicans. Full-bodied Republican angst, 2009, a vintage to be treasured years from now when we look back on the temporary exile of the Republican Party. And Conservatives aren't necessarily Republican voters, so dastardly turncoats may lead many Conservatives to amusement rather than anger and their own private observation: Republicans, what a bunch of clowns.
At the moment, the GOP is keeping a low profile waiting for the ineviatble Dem food fight. Given power and the keys to the Treasury, the Dems always react with their Pavlovian response; promise a lot of money to everyone who will support them, renege on their promises to those who have no power to help them further, reward their closest friends, allies and those who do have power. Already, within Detroit, there is some grumbling against Obama - where are the promised jobs, why are any union guys being laid off? The disappointments will grow steadily until the Dems are at each other's throats - greed and envy are powerful emotions.
The Republicans, like patient fishermen, must simply wait for the Dems' standard version of Greed and Envy Flu to spread into a pandemic and then they can emerge from the shadows. And no, they can't swing a large number of Democratic voters to the Republican Party - like vampires, once the Dems have bitten their hard core constituents there's no going back. But, the Republicans only need a few percentage point swings among the centrist voters to return to power.
When the Democrats are staggering around with immense beer guts after their tax and spend bender, there's only one alternative - that's Democrat Lite, less calories, less taste, but a road back for the GOP.
Pingback| 5.18.09 @ 3:01PM
The Greenroom » Forum Archive » ‘Diversity Through Homogenization’and the Cowardice o links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
George Sabo| 5.18.09 @ 3:04PM
RSM pretty much gets it right. Especially with respect to the point about liberals moving right. Anyway, I still think we should keep the tent open for the David Brooks of the world. In fact, Peggy Noonan had a pretty good piece in this weekend's WSJ.
Big J| 5.18.09 @ 5:36PM
Nice tongue-in-cheek, RSM.
For the life of me, I don't understand why anyone would want to subject themselves to the elitism that has become our political world.
Last year, my wife and I attended our first "fund-raiser". President Bush spoke for about 45 minutes (no teleprompter needed), and we had a really good chance of meeting the man that kept us safe for the last 7 years (who also happened to increase spending, promote ridiculous Medicare "reform" and darn near crammed amnesty down our throats). *Note to the relentless Booooosh haters: He is not as stupid as you folks would like to think. He spoke clearly, didn't falter and never ONCE looked down at a speech book. I think he just wants you to think he's stupid. As I said, no teleprompter needed, nor was his speech addled with errrrs, ummms, uhs, etc. He never once said, "Let me be perfectly clear".*
Anyway, what struck me most about the event was the absolute snobbishness of the attendants. These professional elitists thought they were above the common man. Better than you or me. They literally made me sick.
This kind of atmosphere would inhibit me from ever even think about running for elected office.
That's what needs to change, and soon!
cory huff | 5.18.09 @ 5:38PM
I'm not a Republican by any means - but I would classify myself as fairly conservative. I support traditional Christian values, lower taxes, and Capitalism. What I find strange is that anyone thinks that any politician does anything but prevaricate.
The article was well written, even funny. The comments scare me. I recently read biographies on Lincoln, FDR, and Teddy Roosevelt. All of those men kept themselves clear of zealously endorsing any one political position. I don't think it's a Left/Right thing - it's a political opportunist thing.
Our political system is set up in such a way that a person can hardly afford to take a strong stand on too many issues, lest their career suffer.
Well written - and point taken.
Michael the Conservative| 5.18.09 @ 8:39PM
Alternatively, they could simply cling to the same (lack of) beliefs and (lack of) conviction that turned the once great Party into a minuscule, impotent joke, and blog for the Spectator. BUSH/CHENEY 2012!!!
Istanbul Reader| 5.18.09 @ 11:24PM
Great post, Mr. McCain. Hits to close to home for conservatives everywhere. (Believe it or not, it is so universal, it makes one give a "where the heck is that alleged diversity?")
@ Why are Liberals still angry (also @ a reply to a comment on your "girl scouts" post, asking why liberals can't leave other people's children alone):
They are angry because they are the bunch that can only define themselves in negation of something.
The Frankfurt School (which doesn't teach anything useful) put the phrase "critical thinking" into people's minds almost universally. In fact, it's a left-Hegelian/Marxist idea: that things emerge dialectically, out of "conflict" (another fond Leftie term), therefore thinking also starts (and pretty much ends, at least for lefties) with "criticism." So instead of plain "thinking," we now have "critical thinking" (as if that is supposed to be superior).
If you define "moral" attitude by "outrage" or being "against" something, right off the start you make yourself indistinguishable from a pampered brat kicking and screaming for not getting that big cone of ice-cream he desperately wants. Such people generally do not have any solid, constructive thoughts of their own. "Critical" thinking, in that sense, is "parasitic." Somebody else comes up with an idea, you get one just by "rejecting" it.
If this inherent hollowness pretty much sums up the inner quality of their "thought," what do you expect from such people character-wise?
I -- probably like most readers of this blog -- have been mocked and ridiculed, treated as a "hick," as "primitive/backward," subjected to character lynchings (in my absence or presence, though mostly the former) by leftie "friends" all my life. Heck, I almost lead the life of an exile in my own country, since here too the "Left" is pretty much taken to identify all that is good, "enlightened," "modern," "superior," etc. And yet, even after they have reduced me to a fringe life and a hand-to-mouth existence, they are still angry with me.
I've never treated them dishonorably, never stole from them, never cursed them, never lied about them, cheated on them, etc. etc., never engaged in these and various and sundry other sorts of morally reprehensible behavior which they, in return, indulged themselves in at every turn galore in our interaction. And yet they are still angry with me.
I've kept wondering why. Only recently, as I've passed mid-forties, did it begin to dawn on me: Because of the earlier-mentioned nature of their thought, they ARE parasitic, cowardly, and devoid of any character. They really are like children.
They can exchange their typical curt phrases in their discussions with each other to signal their moral/intellectual superiority all they want, but the ideas they rely on are not real ideas: just "critical" thoughts. (How can "why shouldn't we let more people immigrate?" be an idea when you don't even bother to define what "immigrate" means, what it entails, what its costs are, etc.? And yet, just by asking "why shouldn't we," you can appear to HAVE an idea when in fact you don't.) Because of that, when they face others (most of whom happen to be normal, therefore naturally conservative, people) these silly word games, sophistry, rhetorical ploys don't cut any muster. They instantly sense this, and, being intellectual weaklings -- as is the fate of cowards, since to really understand something, you HAVE to ask genuine, informative questions --, they get very annoyed by the poor sight their shriekings and puffery creates. They appear foolish, naively romantic, incoherent, with no genuine, streetwise insight into the workings of the world. So they always end up feeling that awful punch in their stomach every time they interact with you, seeing that you're not buying any of their silliness. So they are ever angry. Angry that the whole world works in ways, and according to laws, that are very, VERY UN-NICE in their opinion.
Which is also why they can't leave others and others' children alone: you see, if others are not buying your arguments, your only options left are smearing, badgering, cornering, ostracizing, the whole lot of "herd psychology" intimidation tactics. Even then, better to start brain-washing kids earlier on with their silly ideas so that they won't have to do that grueling work of actually converting fully grown adults to their dismal ideas. Make sure the kids catch "arrested development," and your burdens of convincing others to join you in your demented parade of civilizational destruction become lighter and lighter.
Nick| 5.18.09 @ 11:55PM
Istanbul Reader,
Excellent post!
This is exactly why people like Hillary Clinton and Rob Reiner push for universal pre-school starting at three years of age.
George Orwell illustrated it beautifully in "Animal Farm" when Napoleon the pig takes the puppies to "educate" them. A year later, when the puppies are now full grown, guess who defends Napoleon?
Magic Dog| 5.18.09 @ 11:57PM
You're right! The Republican Party's problem is that it has become diluted by pragmatists. Purify, purify, purify!
Pingback| 5.19.09 @ 1:50AM
American Glob » Blog Archive » If You’re a Conservative Who Wants to Suck Up To The L links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
a giant slor| 5.19.09 @ 2:29AM
Those grapes are getting more sour by the minute.
Spence| 5.19.09 @ 7:43AM
Nice to see that someone is still obsessed with Georgetown cocktail parties and the Kennedys. What else, the ERA and Jane Fonda? Carter's sweater? Communists in Central America?Dude, how old are you? The eighties aren't coming back anytime soon.
Steve| 5.19.09 @ 8:29AM
So when Obama said you folks were bitter and clung to your old ways he really wasn't kidding...not everyone leaving your party is jumping the bandwagon, they'll come back when you start offering the country solutions again, one which preferably doesn't line the pockets of corporate America. And don't worry, you're time will come again, as Democrats will surely fall into the large scale corruption and hubris which you all did when you ran the show and the American public will forget about how dismal you all were and give you back the ball.
All this has happened before, all this will happen again...
Neo| 5.19.09 @ 8:59AM
So why did I see "Excitable Andy" all over this piece ?
Paul| 5.19.09 @ 9:14AM
One day, I'm sure, former Nation columnist Christopher Hitchens, who questioned Leftist orthodoxies on abortion, Iraq, etc., etc., will languish in "poverty and obscurity." Right now, of course, he seems to be doing quite well for himself.
jasperjava| 5.19.09 @ 10:37AM
Why are liberals still angry? Speaking for myself, I won't be satisfied until every war criminal in the B*sh regime is behind bars.
I'm still angry that we have such a weak, immature political culture that someone like B*sh could even get "elected". In any mature democracy, someone like that would be a fringe candidate with single-digit support.
Liberals are angry, and need to stay angry, until justice is done, and until we can be reasonably sure that the nightmare years of 2001-2009 can never be repeated.
eric_d78| 5.19.09 @ 10:49AM
Yes, I feel quite quite sorry for poverty-stricken pundits like Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, Bill Kristol, Mark Levin, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck who are constantly have to fight off the temptation to moderate their views in order to make their fortune and fame. If only they said "let's stop constantly liberal bashing, praise bipartisanship and work towards constructive dialogue" only then would they would get huge media contracts and massive book deals. But their true warriors who fight the good fight even if means being a nobody only a few die-hard conservatives have ever heard because surely it's only about principle."
I guess people like Daniel Larison who thinks silly thoughts like the demise of conservative influence is important can only be elitist snobs who are after money and fame.
I mean no real serious pundit would worry about the Republican Party losing millions of voters across almost all demographics groups would they? That would be silly?
It is much better to take time to character attack those who are self-reflective about their party rather then to have any sort off thoughtful discussion.
Much better.
Scott Walker| 5.19.09 @ 11:21AM
As long a frantic orthodoxy-sniffers such as Mr. McCain call themselves Republicans, I won't. What used to be my party is is rapidly rendering itself as useless as the Whigs, whence it came, to the enthusiastic applause of Mr. McCain. Good riddance and adios. There is nothing to tie a conservative to the statist and corporation-ridden GOP, and more and more of us are figuring that out.
GOP08_DOA| 5.19.09 @ 12:16PM
Yes. "Clinging" is working out so well for republicans.
Pingback| 5.19.09 @ 1:27PM
On how to “Really Matter.” « The Other Right links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
Pingback| 5.19.09 @ 5:05PM
Chapomatic links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
Pingback| 5.19.09 @ 5:20PM
The Yoots Do Not Give Two Hoots About The GOP « Around The Sphere links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
Gus| 5.19.09 @ 6:03PM
Someone's a little bitter. Get left off the invitation list at a David Brooks party, Mr. McCain?
Pingback| 5.19.09 @ 10:33PM
The Greenroom » Forum Archive » What’s In It For Me?Toward a More Cynical Theory of P links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
Fred| 5.20.09 @ 1:05PM
Mr. McCain,
Your premise supposes that being Conservative and being Liberal are symmetric. In truth, a Conservative can only slow down the progress of society (in his or her view, for the worse), while a Liberal seeks to move society forward (in his or her view, for the better). That is why when a Conservative goes Liberal, he or she has "seen the light" while a Liberal who goes the other way, "as turned to the dark side."
Those Republicans who see that their party has turned the wrong way are no different than the Democrats of the Democratic Leadership Council. The DLC produces the likes of Joe Lieberman and Bill Clinton, who lead the Democrats out of the Presidential wilderness. It would be a mistake to the Republicans to seek ideologically purity as the Democrats did in the late 60s and 70s. Someone said being middle of the road gets you run over from both sides. However, being middle of the road is what get you elected and it is because the Democrats have sought the center (d0n't forget conservatives outnumber liberals 3 to 2) that they have become the majority.
Richard baker| 5.21.09 @ 1:29AM
Fred:
Conservatism seeks to conserve that which works by allowing for personal growth and achievement and not being led but influenced by a Mr. Jefferson or a Ronald Reagan. Liberalism/socialism seeks to throttle the individual in favor of the mob or mindless group being led by a Huey Long or Obama. Therefore, conservatism advocates forward individual growth and liberalism advocates stifling that growth. Yep, that's what I'd call asymmetric. You liberals really must stop bringing a knife to a gunfight in these discussions.
Pingback| 5.30.09 @ 5:40PM
The Greenroom » Forum Archive » The Heart (and Spleen) of Conservatism links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
Pingback| 7.21.09 @ 9:58PM
David Brooks is wrong about how Republicans went wrong - rightofcourse.com links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
Pingback| 8.16.09 @ 7:48PM
In Defense of the “Birthers” links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
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Glenn Beck to Headline CPAC 2010. Heads to Explode Around Dowdy Republicanville links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
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Eunomia » Not To Worry–Pretty Soon, No Republicans Will Be Influential links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
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