‘Twas the night before Kwanzaa
And all through the ‘hood,
Maulana Karenga was up to no good.
tortured a woman and spent time in jail.
He needed a new scam that just wouldn’t fail.
(“So what if I stuck some chick’s toe in a vice?
Nobody said revolution was nice!”)
The Sixties were over. Now what would he do?
Why, he went back to school — so that’s “Dr.” to you!
He once ordered shootouts at UCLA
Now he teaches Black Studies just miles away.
Then to top it all off, the good Doctor’s new plan
Was to get rid of Christmas and piss off The Man.
Karenga invented a fake holiday.
He called the thing Kwanza. “Hey, what’s that you say?
“You don’t get what’s ‘black’ about Maoist baloney?
You say that my festival’s totally phony?
“Who cares if corn isn’t an African crop?
Who cares if our harvest’s a month or two off?
Who cares if Swahili’s not our mother tongue?
A lie for The Cause never hurt anyone!
“Umoja! Ujima! Kujichagulia, too!
Collectivist crap never sounded so cool!
Those guilty white liberals — easy to fool.
Your kids will now celebrate Kwanzaa in school!”
And we heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight:
“Happy Kwanzaa to all, except if you’re white!”
A man of faith in a godless age is hitting Americans where it hurts.
Mr. and Mrs. American Spectator Reader, let P.J. O’Rourke talk sense to your kids.
In Britain, defending your property can get you life.
The debacle of this president’s administration is both a cause and a symptom of the decline of American values. Unless Congress impeaches him, that decline will go on unchecked. An eminent jurist surveys the damage and assesses the chances for the recovery of our culture.
It won’t take long for conservatives to scratch this presidential wannabe off their 2008 scorecard.
The American Christmas, like the songs that celebrate it, makes room for everybody under the rainbow. Is that why so many people seem to be hostile to it?
Was the President done in by the economy, or by the politics of the economy?