Walker, Texas Ranger’s Wimpy Reboot - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
Walker, Texas Ranger’s Wimpy Reboot
by
Jared Padalecki in “Walker” (YouTube screenshot)

For half a century, progressives have assailed manhood as a threat to their power, using all their Democratic academic and multimedia tentacles. First, they turned feminism into an anti-male religion, where mutual attraction became an oppressor–victim dynamic. Next, they condemned normal male behavior, like competitive aggression, as “toxic masculinity.” Then they created the absurd image of women being physically equal or superior to men, with no hint of femininity. Finally, they fabricated a nonexistent being out of whole cloth — the transgendered person, who can change into the opposite sex at will, too often after surgical butchery.

Consequently, when a traditionalist alpha male became president four years ago — and spent most of his term improving America — they had to raise hell to destroy him. Day and night, every voice in their vast chorus screeched the same slurs about Trump — “racist,” “traitor,” “lunatic,” “dictator,” “fool,” “racist” again. They mocked record minority employment, energy independence, border security, originalist judges, unborn life protection, peace in the Middle East, space innovation, and miraculous COVID vaccine creation in sheer, unadulterated hatred for Trump, and by extension us conservatives. They called the universally condemned deadly riot at the Capitol this month — typified by an idiot with Viking horns — “a white supremacist insurrection” to justify the presence of 25,000 National Guardsmen at the inauguration of Trump’s decrepit beta-male replacement.

The only crowd Joe Biden drew was of the soldiers ordered to be present. (Naturally, the leftist puppet undermined them this week by lifting Trump’s ban on transgender people in the military.) But plenty of celebrities were there to cheer him on — usual suspects Tom Hanks, Lady Gaga, Jennifer Lopez, Justin Timberlake, et cetera. After all, Hollywoke had advanced the leftist diminution of manhood by virtually erasing boys’ role models — cops, cowboys, comics — from the screen. Their replacement by masculine women and sensitive men, like the mirage of a competent Joe Biden, chased away male viewers en masse. Now Hollywoke has no idea how to bring them back, as proven by its latest sad attempt, Walker, a reboot of Walker, Texas Ranger.

I got hired to write for the original Walker in 2000. The showrunner, Gordon Dawson, liked a spec script I wrote for another series and brought me in on his. Dawson had written the incredibly macho Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia (1974) for Sam Peckinpah (who today would be a Hollywoke antichrist), and, along with the all-male writing staff, helped make Walker a boys’ favorite. The show got prematurely canceled before I wrote my episode, but continues to score in reruns, so The CW decided to redo it, with embarrassing results.

Although I as a storyteller find modern Hollywoke fare excruciating, I had to watch the Walker premiere because a beautiful, talented actress friend of mine, Molly Berg, appeared in it. The show was worse than even I expected. A huge, insurmountable problem is the terminally boyish lead, played by Jared Padalecki (Supernatural). They try to make him look tougher and worldlier with apparently permanent stubble, but it’s a lost cause. When, in a lame display of exposition, his Latina sidekick, Micki Ramirez (Lindsey Morgan) tells her extraneous black boyfriend (Jeff Pierre) that Walker joined the Marines right after 9/11, I laughed out loud. Chuck Norris today would brush Padalecki aside on his way into a cantina. In fact, in one scene, Micki, who has to be the tiniest, weakest Texas Ranger ever, restrains Walker from beating up a suspect.

It doesn’t matter, though, because the new Walker spends half the pilot mourning his wife’s death, drinking, brooding — a modern entertainment requisite — and worrying about his troubled teen daughter instead of kicking ass. That’ll bring back the boys, I mused. Having already seen the credit “Written by Anna Fricke,” I was unsurprised. Women writers are important, but Walker, Texas Ranger might be the wrong fit for them. If I had given Gordon Dawson such a cluttered, clumsy, cloying script, he would have thrown me out of his office or shot me like Warren Oates in Alfredo Garcia. Fortunately for Anna Fricke, she’s also the executive producer and showrunner, with a different vision for Walker.

“I come from the old world, WB (US TV network) world,” Fricke told Nine.com (Australia). “And I cut my teeth on teen dramas Dawson’s CreekEverwoodPrivileged, and I’ve always been very drawn to those family dramas, character stories. We were excited about exploring the character of Walker as a family man, which we didn’t really see the first time around.”

The Nine.com article emphasizes the different direction for Walker round two: “Forget the Walker, Texas Ranger you used to know, because there’s a new sergeant in town, and both the show and character have been transformed for a 2021 audience. Gone is the conservative, martial arts-wielding law enforcer, and in his place is a more thoughtful story about a family man moving on after tragedy.”

This instantly raises two questions: One, what about a 2021 audience that still wants to see a “conservative, martial arts-wielding law enforcer” — like every guy who watched the original Walker — and has no interest in “a family man moving on after tragedy”? Two, why reboot a beloved action series and completely change the whole thrust of it? To put both questions another way — why not create an entirely original show about a sappy, whiny, pretty-boy widower cop with family problems (maybe call it Dawson’s Beat), instead of soiling a beloved property?

The answer is a standard progressive one. It’s not enough to create new woke art that will never be as good as the original. Progressives must erase the original art from our memory — especially one about an honorable, chivalrous, alpha-male hero who physically defends women, punishes evildoers, and whose real-life counterpart supported Donald Trump. Calling Chuck Norris.

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