When a writer wants to make an industry sound ominous, all he has to do is capitalize its name and add the word “Big” in front. There’s…

Big Oil
Big Insurance
Big Food
Big Auto
Big Finance
Big Politics and Big Religion
Big Ag
Big Tech
Big Media
Big Medicine
Big Tobacco
Big Beer
Big Soda

…and goodness knows what else.

Now comes warning of a grave new menace that threatens our lives and our sacred honor: Big Pistachio.

If there’s ever going to be a time to retire this cliché, now is it.