I feel like this has been the week where Presidential contenders drop information about themselves that they feel to be controversial. After all, with the advent of the Internet, October surprises have gotten lamer and lamer, and it’s best to get the real stuff out of the way when everyone is fully obsessed with, say, Rand Paul’s somewhat-incoherent position on the potential for vaccine injuries.
Ted Cruz, fearing that the limelight had left his little corner of the high school auditorium, decided this morning to announce that, this one time, at band camp, he tried marijuana. And like the clean-cut 1950s sitcom child he was and is, he hated it and never smoked it again.
Texas Republican Sen. Ted Cruz, known for brandishing his staunchly conservative views, coughed up to smoking marijuana as a teenager, NBC News has confirmed.
A spokesperson told the Daily Mail on Tuesday that the potential 2016 presidential candidate tried it in his teens, but did not elaborate on how many times.
“When he was a teenager, he foolishly experimented with marijuana. It was a mistake, and he’s never tried it since,” a spokesman told the paper.
None of this really matters, especially considering that our current President had his first brush with administrative experience managing a high school organization called the “Choom Gang” and openly admitted to cocaine use in his autobiography. If anything, the incident Ted Cruz describes makes him slightly more appealing. And unlike other candidates, it doesn’t seem to make him a total hypocrite, because while Cruz has excoriated the Obama Administration for failing to enforce Federal marijuana laws in states that have voted to legalize the drug, he’s done so based on the thought that the Federal government cannot pick and choose which laws they enforce (which is a little convoluted given that the Obama Administration actually is the Executive branc, but I’ll give him a pass), and has encouraged a “national conversation” on whether existing drug laws have modern utility.
Plus, I think you’ll be hard-pressed to find a 2016 candidate who hasn’t done a little weed. I mean, sure, Huckabee looks innocent, but he plays the bass in a band and knows how to cook a squirrel on a hot plate, and neither of those talents come with completely clean living. And while Hillary Clinton claims that she spent her college years dabbling in Marxism and not recreational drugs, few things besides hallucinogenic substances would make this outfit even moderately acceptable:
Granted, pot alone can’t be responsible for those pants. The shoes maybe. But the pants, and their bizarre pattern that makes it look like her ladybusiness is radiating angry waves of radical feminism, can only be the result of straight-up LSD.