Someone Please Save Us From Republican Consultants - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
Someone Please Save Us From Republican Consultants

I have a theory that if only we ignore the Republican consultant class, we can win a presidential election, and not otherwise.

The advice has started to roll in, according to a piece in the Washington Post on April 12, 2015, “A fast start for ‘Stop Hillary’ drive.” And it’s mostly wrong.

I especially object to those who advise against ridiculing Hillary in a manner that might be construed as “sexist.” So Bruce Fein says: “Republicans need to be careful about seeming condescending toward a female candidate when we talk about competence. If we’re not careful, it’ll bring out even more of the women vote for her, and that’d be devastating.” Give me a break! We already tried going the inoffensive route with Obama. So terrified were we that something we said could be construed as “racist,” we lost the last two elections.

Hillary is a woman. Anything critical of her will be construed as “sexist.” Does anyone even know what the limits of sexism are anymore? Go for it guys. Condescend. Make her cry. Folks might feel sorry for her, but would they actually vote for a sniveling president?

Then there’s Kellyanne Conway, described as “a Republican pollster who advises male GOP candidates running against Democratic women.” She was the senior advisor to Newt Gingrich during his 2012 presidential campaign. Need I say more? Why didn’t she advise Newt to lock Callista up in some closet or jewelry store and keep her away from the cameras? Or advise Callista that a woman who wears her hair like a helmet and flaunts a triple strand of pearls was not going to be an asset at a time when income immobility was the topic.

Kellyanne advises “to never talk about her [Hillary’s] age or her health. Rather, the focal point should be on her fitness to serve.” But surely her age and her health are a big part of “her fitness to serve.” She looks old and tired and unwell. And she falls down and sustains concussions that keep her off the job for six months. It took Harry Reid only 20 days to bounce back after his New Year’s Eve dust-up in Las Vegas with his exercise machine. And he’s doing the right thing in resigning from the Senate.

We must not hesitate to make Hillary’s age and health an issue. And that’s why Jeb Bush would not be a good choice for Republicans. He’s not much younger and he doesn’t look much better. We should put up against Hillary a much younger person, and I suggest the boyish-looking Marco Rubio, who has the additional advantage over Jeb in having an up-from-poverty life story. He’s sweet, endearing and listens to his mom. You may not agree with her advice on immigration, but you have to love him for listening to her. (Do I sound wistful, like someone who has a child who doesn’t listen to her?)

And I fully endorse the approach that the Washington Free Beacon is taking. The Post quotes its founder, Michael Goldfarb, as saying that his magazine “is preparing a series of stories mixing investigative angles and scalding humor.” A recent Beacon headline read “It’s time for Hillary to Take a Stand on Hitler.”

I also like the Beacon’s Hillary Laugh Button, which lets you hear her mad laugh; you can press it whenever you need a good chuckle. I have a couple of other Hillary sounds that could be made into “buttons.” For example, we could have a Hillary Screech Button, where she does her Howard Dean imitation: And the Hillary Southern Drawl Button, where she does her Scarlet O’Hara imitation.

The French have long understood that nothing is as effective as ridicule—a derision that evokes contemptuous laughter—to show up weakness.

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