Lisa Fabrizio clearly suffers from a personality disorder. Social scientists know that excessive defensiveness of those things that are indefensible — such as love of country, respect for symbols of that which one loves, and attachment to ideals of political liberty — is a sure sign of a dangerous disorder of both mind and psyche (not to be confused with “mind and spirit,” because “spirit” is a religious, meaning superstitious, concept, and thus not only a false construct but also a destabilizing idea in and of itself). For her own good, Ms. Fabrizio ought to be enrolled in the brand-new “Obama Forever Camp and (Re-)Training Center,” where troubled souls human organisms go to be re-oriented and enlightened according to the latest deconstructionist truths (such as the scientific evidence showing the precise date in 2008 when the rise of the oceans began to be reversed).

All of us here at the Spectator Institute for Advanced Expression of Conservative Phantasmagoria hereby declare our heartfelt concern for Ms. Fabrizio and hopes for her speedy re-entry into acceptable society. First, though, we devoutly hope that Ms. Fabrizio’s fetishism for the flag is soon replaced by an appropriate excitement in the occipital lobes when confronted with a far more healthy insignia.

Other than those problems identfied in the first two paragraphs of this blog post, Ms. Fabrizio’s column was absolutely splendid. But don’t tell anybody I said that. I wouldn’t want to be called a flag fetishist.