Frankly, I’m not sure why Nancy Pelosi is even embracing the concept of Valentine’s Day. In this dog-eat-dog rape-culture world, the idea of a holiday that promotes any kind of physical affection is almost begging America’s male population to “man-spread” themselves across womens’ rights. As a woman, I’m offended that someone in a position of power even acknowledges the holiday.
Anyway, breaking with her core constituency, Rep. Nancy Pelosi does believe you should get your sweetie something for Valentine’s Day, but it shouldn’t be a bouquet of roses or a box of chocolates, or even one of those incredibly creepy Fifty Shades of Grey Vermont Teddy bears that come with handcuffs and the sinking feeling that you’ve lost all of your self respect. Nancy would like you to take your sweetie (gender non-specific, of course) down to your local Obamacare office and sign them up for free government healthcare.
At the conclusion of the briefing Pelosi said, “Don’t forget, in case you were forgetting, that- what is it this Sunday-that the last day to sign up for the ACA? Here it is this Sunday marks the last day of the current open enrollment period. Under the Affordable Care Act, enrollment has been extremely successful, and exceeded expectations,” Pelosi said.
She continued “Don’t forget, Valentine’s Day coming up, as a nice Valentine Day you can take your loved one to sign up for the Affordable Care Act.”
Think of the look in your loved ones eyes when, after giving over all of her personal medical information to the government, you can reward her with her first pack of free birth control. After all, there is nothing less condescending to women than assuming they have no power to pay for their own rubbers.
If you do do this, bear in mind that your relationship may be in trouble immediately. More trouble than if you’d bought that bear.
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