I’m not sure if Fyodor Dostoevsky was thinking of Maria Sharapova when he wrote in The Idiot that “beauty will save the world.” But I am. The Miss America pageant turns 100 this week, and I can’t think of a better occasion to congratulate conservatives: the Left couldn’t kill it! And it isn’t for lack of feminists trying. My favorite example was Yolande Betbeze’s historic cancellation attempt, because not only did she fail to cancel Miss America but she went double or nothing and now we also have Miss USA.
There is nothing more typically conservative than a century-old pageant of beautiful women. Firstly, because we admire beauty and feel no remorse about it. And secondly, because anything that lasts a hundred years will always be better than woke hysteria, which represents pretty much everything we detest, that is if cabbage were also included within the woke universe.
Miss America is still a perfect standard-bearer of conservative reality.
A hundred years of watching beautiful women walk by. Don’t tell me it’s not wonderful. From Margaret Gorman to Camille Schrier, these women represent the triumph of normalcy in the face of #MeToo-type imposture, which has happily failed in all its attempts to manipulate the pageant. True, some aspects of the pageant have been conditioned by ridiculous attempts at progressive colonization, but the fact that it continues to be held at all proves that its survivability is superior to the Democrats’ capacity for pussyfooting around everything.
I guess it’s no coincidence that there is a long list of conservative beauties who have been winners or finalists in the pageant. There are Erika Harold and Sue Lowden, in a list that only gets longer if we also take into account the winners of Miss USA, the pageant that was owned by Donald Trump during his best 19 years. Of course, there are also dazzling Democratic beauties, among whom, unfathomably, I can’t find Nancy Pelosi.
With good judgment, most of the winners of these contests who are not aligned with feminism try not to answer the typical questions from leftist media after the results get in: “Are you a feminist?,” “Why don’t you wear a #MeToo T-shirt?,” “Do you agree with abortion, or are you a disgusting fascist?,” “Aren’t you ashamed to enter the contest being white and heterosexual?,” “Is Mein Kampf your bedside table book?” and things like that.
The beautiful and discreet Kára McCullough, Miss USA 2017, when faced with the typical question from a half-witted journalist, coyly answered that she preferred to “transpose the word feminism to equalism” because she didn’t like to show herself intransigent with the boys, and hence became victim of the traditional muck-throwing from the hands of celebrated left-wing newspapers.
The only great feminist victory against Miss America was Operation Gretchen Carlson, to whom we owe the fact since 2018 that models no longer show off their charms in swimsuits and instead enlighten us with amenable interviews on stage. The plan was originally broader: the former Miss wanted to turn the pageant into a kind of pro-#MeToo homily. But again the operation was such an outstanding success for progressives that Carlson had to step down as chairperson of the pageant board the following year.
But even with all the dalliances of the times, and even though the pageant is not currently enjoying its best moments, Miss America is still a perfect standard-bearer of conservative reality: most normal people like it, it is politically incorrect, it is an exaltation of beauty, it infuriates the radical Left, it generates business opportunities, it cohesively unites the audience over their political differences, it is over a hundred years old, that is, older than the UN and almost as old as Joe Biden, it proudly celebrates femininity, it is a typically American symbol, it deeply annoys Islamic terrorists, and it enamors Spanish columnists. What more could you ask for?
Now that the Left and feminism have become allies to all things ugly, we conservatives have a great opportunity to single-handedly occupy the spectrum of admirers of beauty. So, yes, Make Miss America Great Again!
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