Its only Monday and already this is a great week for Lindseys.
Lindsay Lohan will wake up this morning to her first-ever full week off probation in eight years, and Lindsey Graham, who has committed to torturing us and himself with his ambitions, has declared that he will be one of the many Republicans competing for the Presidential nomination in the fall of next year. Now, while Lindsay Lohan will be spending her day completing her community service requirement, teaching a number of very unlucky children at a day school in Manhattan, Lindsey Graham will spend the day pressing the flesh in his home state of South Carolina, reminding everyone that he is ready to be Commander-in-Chief on day one.
“I’m pretty sure no one here, including me, ever expected to hear me say, ‘I’m Lindsey Graham, and I’m running for president of the United States,'” he told a cheering crowd in Central, South Carolina.
“I have more experience with our national security than any other candidate in this race. That includes you, Hillary,” he said. “I know the players, I know our friends and I know our enemies alike — but most importantly, ladies and gentlemen, they know me.”
Graham, a retired Air Force colonel, enters the race just as a fierce battle over national security rages in the Senate.
The South Carolina senator – a noted defense hawk – stands in sharp contrast to fellow 2016 hopeful Sen. Rand Paul, who spent Sunday night railing against the anti-terror PATRIOT act and just last month declared that GOP hawks have contributed to the rise of ISIS.
“The Obama Administration, and some of my colleagues in Congress, have substituted wishful thinking for sound national security strategy,” Graham, 59, said today. “I want to be president to defeat the enemies trying to kill us, not just penalize them or criticize them or contain them, but defeat them.”
On that, he’s eons ahead of all of the other candidates, though, to be fair, I haven’t yet heard a single Republican candidate declare that they will waffle around on the idea of taking on ISIS until they control a good portion of the Middle East, then send John Kerry to a foreign land to negotiate with a state sponsor of terror only to have him faceplant into some cement and come home to recuperate. The reason Democrats harp on the Osama Bin Laden raid is because the very fact that they considered killing the man while he was holed up in a Pakistani estate watching soap operas is a foreign policy achievement far beyond their understood capabilities. Lindsey Graham, of course, is the one candidate you could count on to bomb someone as celebration of his Inauguration, however.
This is, of course, a good day for Lindsey to declare, even if I can’t name a single person outside of the Washington Post editorial writers who think he’s more legitimate than, say, Donald Trump. With the PATRIOT Act in hot contention, he does provide the opposing position to Rand Paul, and this week, that makes him more relevant to national discourse than he’s been in a decade. The bad news is, this will have to go on for months in order for Graham to make this declaration worthwhile.
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