Is It Lifting?
Ben Stein
by
Pacific Coast Highway in 2007 (Lars0001/Wikimedia Commons)

Monday

Another day in the aspic of the shutdown. For some reason, there was no shutdown at all in Malibu yesterday. The beaches were open, and there was hideous traffic all along the Pacific Coast Highway from Pepperdine to Santa Monica. Thousands of people staring at the ocean and wandering in and out through traffic. There are always a few pedestrian deaths on PCH every year, and this will be a banner year.

I got home and made salmon for my wifey and gave her many Mother’s Day cards. She loves greeting cards.

Then we watched Forensic Files again. I have gotten to be an ace at spotting the killer, as I have often mentioned. If there is insurance, it’s always the beneficiary. If there’s a jealous ex-husband or lover, he always did it. Also, whoever has a wispy mustache is usually a killer. And look carefully at a wife who calls 911 and reports a shooting of her husband in the back of the head. She always is the killer. It’s a sad show. There is so much evil in the human race.

Today was a strange day. I awoke filled with dizziness. I could barely get out of bed, but I did and went off to see Stanley Zussman, M.D., to get my toenails cut. He’s the best at it of anyone I have ever met.

Then home for a nap, then off to see Dr. C., one of my shrinks. He waved in the air to tell me which friends to discard. But, as I told him, I never discard any friends. I expect them to have flaws, and I’m not shocked when they do.

I’m not shocked that we can’t find a cure for COVID right away. Viruses are incredibly difficult to cure. I have no idea of how to revive the economy either. As far as I can tell, Mr. Mnuchin is doing a fine job and Chairman Powell is Superman. What does Nancy Pelosi have in mind that would be better than what’s being done? Considering that the Democrats have been wrong on every single big issue since January 20, 2017, why should we trust anything they suggest? I don’t want to leave my sweet granddaughter, Coco, a bankrupt America. When Warren Buffett says to bankrupt America, then I’ll go for it. Not before.

By the way, Mr. Buffett, the smartest man on the planet, did not see COVID coming. So if he didn’t, why are we angry at Mr. Trump for not foreseeing it?

Let’s leave all that behind. Here are a few ideas for not going insane while we’re locked up or locked down:

*If I start each day with a list of all I have just by being born and living in America, I could spend the whole day doing that and it would be a great day;

*I feel a lot better if I avoid expectations and live in the now;

*We are all flawed mortals and we should not hate ourselves for it;

*The only real wealth is peace of mind;

*I want to be like the Strategic Air Command and have peace as my profession;

*Envy is poison and I won’t drink it today;

*God has always taken care of me. Why should I believe he will stop now?;

*Look at your life. How little of it did you plan or control and how much just happened to you? Then how can you doubt that God is running your life for your benefit?;

*A simple test: what I want is my will. What happens is God’s will. I’ll accept it.

Meanwhile, I’ll reread some emails from a dear friend, B., from years ago, who just resurfaced in my life. She’s a superb writer and her memories of our times together are poetry. She’s a real Christian and forgives me for some bad things I did to her long ago.

Ok, I did that. Now for fillet of sole for my wifey, world’s kindest human. How did I set so lucky???? To hell with the shutdown. I have my wife and my friends who have good memories of me. I’m set.

Ben Stein
Ben Stein
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Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Beverly Hills and Malibu. He writes “Ben Stein’s Diary” for every issue of The American Spectator.
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