Hillary may be back in New York and living the “Lincoln Town Car” lifestyle. But let’s hope we have her out campaigning soon in what she calls, a “Scooby” van. As any former child who watched even a modicum of Saturday morning television or a current parent whose child channels surfs or streams knows, the van in the Scooby Doo TV show is not named “Scooby.” Rather it’s “The Mystery Machine,” and says so right on its side panels. No matter what the media may say, the “Mystery Machine” moniker is important, as the arrival of Hillary’s black vehicle will leave long-time Hillary watchers and neophytes alike with breathless anticipation as to what’s in this mystery van.
Maybe, just maybe, at a crucial point in the campaign, she’ll pull the van’s doors open to reveal many of the unknowns surrounding the candidate and her campaign. There, among the stacks of 8-track tapes, beneath the fuzzy dice and between the snazzy bucket seats, may be stacks of additional old Rose Law Firm billing records. There could be lists of Chinese donors or an unabridged “Enemies List.” Or perhaps there could be hard-copies of emails that were not destroyed and boxes of other evidence that she has withheld over the years on everything from cattle futures and Hillarycare to Benghazi. Maybe the immigration papers from her ancestors are in the glove box, the shells from the sniper fire she avoided while in Bosnia, or the Russian “Reset Button” that has mysteriously disappeared. There might even be an original policy idea or two hiding in the ashtrays. But I doubt it. With all that potential baggage, she’ll need a fleet to transport it.