DNC To Hold Convention in Philly | The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
DNC To Hold Convention in Philly
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Not content to let the GOP have all the fun of holding their convention in a slowly deteriorating city, the DNC has chosen to hold its convention in Philadelphia

As of this morning, both parties – the DNC and the city of Philadelphia – are said to have “enthusiastically signed off” on the plan to hold the 2016 nominating convention in the City of Brotherly Love (and, apparently “Sisterly Affection,” according to the mayor, since simply saying “brotherly love” conflicts with the stated policy of gender neutrality), the President has been informed, and Michelle Obama will immediately begin investigating whether Philly cheese steak cheese is organic enough to publicly embrace. 

The 2016 Democratic National Convention will be held in Philadelphia, party leaders announced Thursday.

Philadelphia beat out finalists Brooklyn and Columbus, Ohio for the chance to host the party’s nominating convention in July 2016. Democratic National Committee Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz said the city’s “deep rooted place in American history provides a perfect setting for this special gathering.”

“I cannot wait to join Democrats across the country to celebrate our shared values, lay out a Democratic vision for the future, and support our nominee,” she said.

The final contract between the DNC and Philadelphia was signed Thursday, said Wasserman Schultz. The convention will take place the week of July 25, 2016.

The final three contenders were Philadelphia, New York City (apparently to coincide with the Brooklyn resurgence-slash-gentrification), and Columbus, Ohio, which was probably out of the running as soon as the DNC realized how close they would be to the RNC, and how desperate they’d look to earn some swing-state love. Phoenix and Birmingham, Alabama were dropped off the list when the DNC realize that no one actually lives in Phoenix and there was no way anyone south of the Mason-Dixon line was voting for Hillary Clinton.

UPDATE: I was just informed that there is a six floor Anthropologie in Philadelphia. Dammit, Republicans.

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