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George Washington Plunkitt
by | Apr 22, 2016

I listened to Donald Trump’s victory speech following GOP primary triumphs in five states and was struck by the threats he made against manufacturers who leave this country. Trump said that there will be consequences for manufacturers who shut their…

by | Oct 22, 2014

Mr. Plunkitt— In expectation of runnin’ for president, I’ve been workin’ with a language coach. But I still keep gettin’ tripped up. The other day I was at a nice Dallas café, and I ordered two Buds Lite and the…

by | Jun 30, 2014

Mr Plunkitt— We beat the gormless bastards! At last a taste of victory has passed our lips, with a great, stonking win for UKIP! The night results were announced was one for the history books. Everyone at the party was…

by | Mar 31, 2014

Mr. Plunkitt— People freaked a few weeks ago when I pointed out that Republicans have a hard time in New York. Granted, my phrasing might’ve been a bit indelicate, but this phony outrage is unwarranted. I feel like doubling down….

by | Jan 16, 2014

Dear Mr. Plunkitt— I went to Healthcare.gov to see what all the fuss was about. Big mistake. First of all, by accident I initially typed in Healthcare.lov, which—lo and behold!—hosts an explicit website for those who find amorous appeal in…

by | Nov 30, 2013

Dr. George Washington Plunkitt, our prize-winning political analyst, has recently retired from a staff position with the House Ethics Committee and is working on his memoirs. But he has graciously consented to once again advise American statesmen in these times…

by | Oct 1, 2013

Dr. George Washington Plunkitt, our prize-winning political analyst, has recently retired from a staff position with the House Ethics Committee and is working on volume seven of his memoirs, tentatively titled Twine Kampf. But he has graciously consented to once again…

by | Sep 27, 2013

The Metropolitan Opera opened its new season on Monday night with a star studded production of Tchaikovsky’s Eugene Onegin, which was enlivened by a spicy cocktail of celebrities, politics, and protesters. At times, there seemed to be more drama off…

by | Sep 3, 2013

Dear Mr. Plunkitt— Regarding application #84028-G, nonprofit status request for The American Spectator magazine and educational foundation, established in 1967: Please excuse the delay, caused by a rapid increase in applications during the recent hostilities in Vietnam. We have cleared…

by | Aug 16, 2013

After a few weeks of summer, the usual diversions — beach, theme parks, sight-seeing — begin to wear thin. For those looking for a different kind of adventure, here’s another idea. Try the Bard Music Festival, located on the college’s…

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