America's Ants Come Home to Roost - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
America’s Ants Come Home to Roost

Why are ants so creepy? I awakened in Malibu this morning with an ant walking merrily along my wrist and another on my elbow. That made me very, well, tee-hee, antsy, you might say. I went into the guest room, where there has been no food for a very long time. I figured that would be safe. I fell into a peaceful sleep for about an hour. Then, out of nowhere, came an ant on my arm. Why? What was that ant looking for?

Was that ant perhaps looking to eat me? Maybe he was going to take a small bite, then go to the ant Internet and write a review of my flesh: “Very fat and super salty. Not recommended for ants who care about their circulatory systems.…” Anyway, I killed that ant and could not go back to sleep.

Then, into town to rest and then give a speech. It was a super great group and I loved them a lot. When you have a great group, it makes speaking true paradise. When you are speaking to a group of dopey people, which is extremely rare for me, it’s painful.

(This reminds me that at a recent speaking engagement, I was talking about problems with the school system and a junior high school teacher came up to me afterwards. I think I mentioned that. But did I mention that he said that his students only wanted to fight kids from other races, cared not a whit about history — his subject — and only wanted for recess to come so they could hit each other. He also told me about a class where no one knew what Pearl Harbor was. One guessed that it was jewelry shop. If I told you that already, I apologize for this and many other sins.)

After my speech, I checked my e-mails and there was a plaintive one from a woman of 50, still beautiful, who wanted to know why she had never been married. “I don’t know, Dotty,” I said. “I guess it’s just bad luck.”

Of course, this woman, again still beautiful, drinks too much, starts arguments at the drop of a hat, has extreme difficulty mustering even one ounce of empathy, tries to jack up men by talking about her sexual adventures with other men. She is fanatically loyal to her friends, I will say that, but the rest is enough to keep her single for the rest of her life.

Then, to read on the Internet about a simply stunningly beautiful 14-year-old girl in Florida who gave birth to a little baby girl in her parents’ home’s bathroom — then strangled the baby and put the corpse in a shoe box. Her mother discovered it a few days later when it started to smell horrible.

Now everyone is in an uproar and rightly so.

But wait a minute. Wasn’t she just exercising a woman’s right to choose? After all, even our President, Mr. Obama, has stood up for the right of a woman or a “hospital” or a “doctor” to kill a baby even after it’s out of the mother or if the baby survived an abortion.

Soooo.… what’s the difference between what this young girl did in Florida and what President Obama and his supporters believe in ? Wasn’t she just exercising a 14 year old girl’s “right to choose”?

By the way, tomorrow I go to see my psychiatrist. I must remember to ask him why so many women who are not interested in men or sex with men are so intent about a “woman’s right to choose.” They won’t ever be pregnant in any event. There must be some deep psychodynamic at work here, but it’s too deep for me.

Then to read an article about the massacres of Armenian Christians by the Turks through the centuries. Just heart-breakingly terrible. It makes me wonder if Mr. Obama has any idea of just how dangerous and evil the human animal is. If he did, he would not even consider cutting the defense budget — unless his real goal is to defeat America. But frankly, I don’t think it is. At least I hope it isn’t.

But can he really be that naive, to consider disarming America when so much of the world is getting ever better armed and hates us more than ever? These people — unlike the Bolsheviki — really want to die for their cause. They are truly terrifying. Can Mr. Obama truly consider disarming when they are staring at us with their fangs dripping with excitement — like ants, you might say.

Like ants with nuclear weapons. Hey, fellow conservatives, this is serious. This defense issue is worth raising taxes for.

Well, time to contemplate the debate between Mr. Romney and Mr. Obama. Not that it matters. With 96 or 98 percent of the black vote going for Mr. Obama and that set in stone, and the whites split somewhat for Mr. Romney, in this totally phony “post-racial” world, the outcome of the election is a foregone conclusion.

As Mr. Obama’s spiritual guide, Rev. Wright, would say, “America’s chickens have come home to roost.”

But somehow, there is still a lot of glory in trusting in The Lord.

Ben Stein
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Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Beverly Hills and Malibu. He writes “Ben Stein’s Diary” for every issue of The American Spectator.
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