A People's Court Adventure - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
A People’s Court Adventure
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This bit by Sean Ingram on what it’s like to be on The People’s Court is hilarious. It’s long, complete with video, so this is just a very small sampling of the behind the scenes color:

Refreshments consisted of condiment packages, and an empty hot water pitcher, and an empty cold water pitcher. I imagined it would be this classy studio with pictures of Wapner up there, and nice folks helping us everywhere. but instead, it really looked like a low rent warehouse with Tv’s mounted in the corners of the rooms showing live airings of cases going on in the studio just behind the wall. I would not have been surprised if someone told me that a porn shoot was going on and we had to wait, it was that kind of vibe.

***

We went into make up, and then into a second holding tank. Now this room was a piece of work. It is right behind where they interview you coming out of the court room, where the “hallway guy” asks you stupid questions and you are so pissed off you can’t spit out a coherent sentence. Which by the way I swore I would not do, but that’s later. This room was basically some 2 x 4’s holding up unfinished drywall, and what walls it did have in there were completely covered in graffiti. Your usual assortment of genitalia, and swastikas.

***

I can’t express how cool it was to push those doors forward and walk into court like you are some big stuff. We got to our stand, and they actually play that “duh duh dum dum” music and the synopsis of the case over the speaker while you walk in. The one thing I did notice is they really take liberty while describing your case. Man, to hear them talk, I wanted to stab this guy in the eye and leave him for dead on the street, which simply wasn’t the case.

***

She told the manager how amazingly close the case was and that she found for the defendant and hit the gavel. That was that. I bet watching it, you could pull a Bart Simpson from the “I love Lisa” episode. “Watch this, you can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half”! But it wasn’t over yet, I still had to talk to the Hallway guy and answer whatever questions he had. I know I swore that I wouldn’t be like those other people, but damn, I was so pissed that we lost, I followed suit like all other losers on that show in a stupor of rage.

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