I am scared by the presidential election. As I see it, we have three of the oddest persons on this planet as the leading candidates.

Donald Trump is outspoken and takes positions that cut right through political correctness to where the ordinary Americans live. He’s somewhat of a racist, but so are a lot of other people. He connects with them in a tiny bit of the way that Governor George Wallace of Alabama did in the late 1960s and early 1970s.

Wallace totally turned American politics on its head, gave the GOP the “Southern Strategy,” and paved the way for Republicans to win some immense victories.

The problem is that Mr. Trump seems to me to slightly daft. He had made insanely insulting comments about a true war hero, John McCain, disgustingly insulted Megyn Kelly of Fox News, painted Mexicans, some of the hardest-working people on the earth, in vile colors.

He has zero, literally zero, experience in government. None in the military either. He is not even remotely prepared for peacetime governance and the thought of his finger on the nuclear button is breathtaking. So, that’s Mr. Trump.

Mrs. Clinton was my schoolmate in law school and I have always liked Wellesley grads since my sister went there. But there is something thoroughly wrong with her. (Mrs. Clinton, not my sister.)

It started with the phony commodities trades in Arkansas long ago. Then there were her truly sickening forays into bullying and silencing women who alleged very serious sexual violence by her husband. The idea that she would lend her Cosa Nostra to frighten the women who said Bill Clinton raped them — then claim to be the women’s candidate — is just nauseating. Loyalty is one thing. Mafia conduct towards victims of crime is another.

She was a drastic failure as Secretary of State. No major accomplishments and a catastrophic failure at Benghazi. There, she refused to protect a U.S. ambassador against a terrorist attack. She made it worse by lying about it and putting an innocent filmmaker in jail to cover up her own lies and incompetence.

Now she has lied her head off about the actual crime of allowing top secret communications to be hacked easily by taking them off a secure server and putting them on her home computer. She is a candidate whose past is presently being investigated by 150 FBI agents. It is inconceivable that Mr. Obama will allow her to be indicted but just the fact that she’s under serious investigation for a series of felonies is dizzyingly frightening.

As to Senator Sanders, I have a lot of common ground with him. Commercial banks and investment banks should never have been allowed to be one entity. Medical care under a single payer system should be a right. Taxes should be much higher on the truly rich to fund better living for the destitute, especially homeless veterans. He has a lot going for him.

But he’s calling for a socialist revolution. Those are dangerous words. It has been a long time —back to Yorktown — since a Revolution ended well. Stirring up class and race hatreds is something akin to treason. It may be a joke and a way to have sex and get high for his dopey college student followers, but a U.S. Senator should know a helluva lot better than to call for Revolution.

And the idea that Socialism under Bernie will mean more freedom when in every other place it exists it leads to less freedom is a bad sign by the candidate. Socialism is a fig leaf for government control over the ordinary people, and Mr. Sanders has to know that. If he doesn’t, he’s a fool. If he does, it’s even worse.

So, as I said, I am scared about what’s going on in the election. And I am going to hide in my own little world where we are ruled by one super sensible Queen, my Big Wifey, and her court, our two Pointers, Julie and Jojo. I’ll just get under the covers and hide out in my own utopia eating corn flakes until the storm of craziness out there in the real world blows over.

Reality is just too upsetting for me right now.

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