In my years of reading political polls, I have never, ever, ever seen a paragraph as wonderful as this, from a recent Public Policy Polling survey of opinions of Congress versus certain other things:

Americans currently have a higher opinion of witches (46/32), jury duty (73/18) and hemorrhoids (53/31) than Congress. Republicans seem much more accepting of Congress over hemorrhoids compared to other voters — 41% favored Congress more than the diseases, as oppose to only 25% of Democrats and 27% of Independents.

I’m not sure just what it says about Democrats and Independents that they prefer anal bleeding to a Congressman by a 3:1 ratio, not that Republicans are that far behind in the sentiment. I guess the idea is that you can make a hemorrhoid go away with a tube of cream you can buy for a couple of bucks at Walgreens. If only we could do that with Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi…can someone invent Preparation D? You’d be an instant multi-millionaire

More here.