Hey everybody! The elementary school in my community now has its very own female teacher child rapist! And she carried out the dirty deeds in her own classroom during school hours. Not only that, but get this: She also had an affair with the victim’s father! How very proud schools like ours must be to earn this kind of attention, gaining notoriety because they are incompetent to protect children in even the broadest of daylight hours.

But I’ll betcha almost all the parents will still keep their kids there. Can’t blame all the teachers and administrators for one bad egg, you know.

Meanwhile, on a near-daily basis we are reaffirmed in our decision years ago to homeschool our own children. Any threat will have to beat down our front door and climb over my wife’s dead body to harm our kids.