January 20, 2017 dawned bright. Temperatures approached the lows of the second Ronald Reagan inaugural, but that cold was nothing compared to the frigid atmosphere as the Obamas and Trumps traveled down Pennsylvania Avenue for the swearing in. Official civilities between principals were maintained, barely. However, the two sets of aides had been waging a very public PR war almost since The Donald’s shock election victory on November 8.
The differences between the two presidents were many and immediately evident. One of the most dramatic was the use of Twitter. For President Barack Obama, the service was another form of official communication. Tweets directly connected President Donald Trump’s mouth to his gut, with little interference from his brain. It was vintage Trump.
The barrage started on his return to the Oval Office after the swearing in.
*Waste of time having to play nice to Barry. Stupid tradition. He’s a failure. You won’t see him back in White House. For winners now!*
Early that afternoon Trump took phone calls from House Speaker Paul Ryan and several foreign leaders.
*Spkr Ryan called. Wimp & traitor. Thot I couldn’t win. Now knows why I get so much … Melania says can’t say that, but you know what I mean.*
*British PM Theresa May called to congrat. Brits are OK, tho we whipped ’em in Revolution. Made sure she remembers. I’ll be in charge here.*
The president held his first press conference the following week. He spent more time attacking the reporters than answering their questions.
*Media thinks so smart. I got elected, not them. If don’t report facts will bar from White House. Or sue. Most should be in jail with Hillary.*
The president’s early weeks were filled with meetings with foreign ambassadors, delegations, and leaders, who hoped to take his measure. He rarely held back.
*Met Euro wimp ambassadors. Will tell SecState Bolton to keep them away. Except French. She’s a looker. But Melania says I can’t, you know.*
Still, he surprised his critics, arranging early summits with Russia’s and China’s leaders. His take remained unique.
*Met Putin. Strong leader. Knows what wants. Told him to take Syria. So many crazies. Nothing we can do. If he can fix, add to Russia.*
*Chinese prez to town. They really do look alike. Will tell to fix trade deficit. Maybe build wall in California. They can keep their toys.*
*Met Xi Jinping. Dumb name. No wonder China a mess for so long. He said if we stop imports, will dump US debt. Told him we’d nuke ’em.*
Trump’s meetings with Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and Minority Leader Chuck Schumer rarely fit the usual model. The president was insistent about his agenda.
*Met Senate “leaders.” Are corrupt establishment. Constitution should let me select. Told ’em to pass my bills. If not, will declare as law.*
*Told Mitch — not a “leader” name — to drop this advise and consent crap. I won the election. Americans like a winner. Founders liked winners.*
The president’s relations with the Pentagon weren’t always easy. He went through three defense secretaries in his first year.
*Met Jt chiefs, guys with lot of stars. Said want plan to defeat ISIS. Basically, who should we bomb? And bomb? Traitor McCain should like.*
*Military dudes agst my idea for nuke alert agst ISIS. Fear “instability.” Stupid. I’m prez. People voted for me. Not loser crook Clinton.*
*Wimp generals appt’d by failed Barry. Oppose carpet bombing Syria. Say “intl law” crap. I figure kill ’em all. Solve problem. Vlad liked.*
President Trump generally didn’t travel abroad much. His aides convinced him to attend the NATO summit to ease European concerns about administration policy. It might have been better if he stayed home.
*Busy making America Great Again. Foreign leaders should come here. We’re greatest. They’re losers. And long plane rides are boring.*
*Went to Europe. NATO meeting. Whiny losers. Begged me to save them. Told ’em to pay us. Pitiful. Maybe we can trade them for Russia.*
*Weird country names. Who came up with Estonia? Lithuania worse. Too many letters. Want US troops there. Said no—ask the Europeans. Whined.*
The president was no more a fan of the United Nations than his Secretary of State and former acting UN ambassador John Bolton.
*Spoke at UN today. Wasted space. Great spot for condos. A Trump Tower spectacular. Will ask John about sending dumb diplomats home.*
*Told general assembly US is great. Who needs them? We could bomb ’em all. They should pay us not to. A little old fashioned “protection.”*
President Trump’s strategy of letting others come to America paid off. Many seemed to believe that they could schmooze him and smooth over the bilateral relationship. He rarely seemed willing to cooperate.
*Held fancy dinner for South Korea’s prez. Woman, but not hot. Big disappointment. Waste of good food. But state dept. wimps say important.*
*Germany’s Angela Merkel came by. Loser, didn’t follow me on immigration. She’s lost support. Offered her our Syrian refugees.*
*What’s with the Pope? Wants to talk politics. Boring. Thot Catholicism was religion. Still, nice photo op. Waiting for woman pope. If is hot!*
*Met Philippine prez. Funny name, Duterte. But tough like me. Likes women. Told him to bring a couple on next trip. Is real man. A winner too.*
*Talked to someone from South America. Forgot who. Asked Bolton why we bothered. Does anything matter there? Should be colony of US. Losers.*
Lots of economists, foreign leaders, and consumer groups pressed Trump to change his position on foreign trade. But he paid little attention.
*Met with economists. Threw numbers at me on NAFTA, TPP. Waste of time. I’ve been to Ohio. Who needs their “facts”? I’m for real people.*
*Back from Asia. Japan PM Abe, another silly name, said Japan sacrificed for TPP. Took advantage of weak Obama. Reminded of Pearl Harbor.*
*Found out big trade deficit with Germany. Knew didn’t like that chick Merkel. Called her to tell to stop. Said we’d build Atlantic wall.*
President Trump’s plan on immigration ran into expected opposition. He didn’t take the news well.
*Senate won’t vote on my plan for wall w/ Mexico. Called “Mitch.” Told him to stop traitor Dem filibuster. Dumb rule. I won the election.*
*“Latino” activists oppose my plan. Bunch of Mexicans. Hate America. Bet they are all born in Mexico. Why we have to control borders.*
*Called Mexico president. Neto, Nieto, whatever. Jerk won’t pay for wall. Forgets we won war. Told Pentagon to buzz Mex City w/couple B2s.*
*Liberal creep in Canada won’t change NAFTA. Stupid kid. Told him we’d build wall there. Stop Muslim terrorists coming in. And Canada exports.*
However, some of the administration’s more unusual initiatives bore fruit.
*North Korea’s fat boy likes hot chicks too. Told Bolton we could talk. Suggested hold Miss Universe there if give up nukes. Great deal.*
*South Korea new prez, Ban Ki whatever, called. Stupid to choose UN dude as prez. Agst me going to North. Wimp. Told him we pay, we decide.*
*Talked to Vlad Putin. My bud. Agreed he should take over weird country “Georgia.” Why same name as US state? Which voted for me. A winner!*
*Told State employees to earn salaries. Send bills to Europe for NATO. Time to pay up for 60+ years. Plus interest. Big profit for US.*
While Washington’s usual elites, vested interests, and powers were horrified by President Trump’s erratic and provocative policies, the American people loved having someone say what so many of them believed but were afraid to verbalize. He cruised to reelection with most of the “Never Trumpers” trying to climb aboard his bandwagon and Democratic nominee Sen. Tim Kaine discredited when he was discovered using an alias to visit Hillary Clinton in prison.
Lewd comments were forgotten and blustering threats were forgiven as The Donald basked in a big election victory. Some said it was a time for reconciliation, but not President Trump.
*To you who opposed me, criticized me, f### off. Oops, Melania says shouldn’t say. Wait for friendly IRS audit letter. I beat IRS. You won’t.*
*Americans love a winner. I’m a winner. The biggest in history. Four more years! You voted agst me? I know who you are.*
*US is great, not great enough. Will be soon. I will spend next 4 years making it greater. Maybe rename country Trump America. Sounds great!*