So last night, for the third time in my life, I suffered through a kidney stone. The good news is that I was only in pain for about 3 hours, by far the shortest of any of my experiences with this diabolical dimunitive monster.
Having a kidney stone, some say, is the closest thing that many men will ever feel to the pain that women go through in labor. All I can say is that labor must really suck.
It felt as if I was being repeatedly punched in the back by Mike Tyson. (But at least it didn’t feel like he was biting me.)
I was literally lying on the ground (for some reason more comfortable than my bed) trying to find some less agonizing position and also trying not to vomit from the pain — something that happened both previous times. On that account, I’m pleased to report that was successful this go-round.
The pain subsided very rapidly as the little beast moved through some tube to some other tube that hurts less. Not sure if I peed it out yet…I sure hope so because otherwise I may have more pain to go through.
The key with these things is to drink as much liquid as you can tolerate in order to build up pressure behind the stone and force it through the place where it’s stuck, or else force it to break into smaller, less pain-inducing pieces. Vicodin helps too.
My wife did some reading online and helpfully offered me a cold glass of water — mixed with vinegar and a bit of sugar. It was quite nasty, especially the smell, but one can’t really refuse to try in that situation — more in the interest of marital harmony than of actual medical benefit.
This morning, I feel something like bruised inside my lower back, just left of my spine. It’s a deep uncomfortable feeling, but not debilitating.
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