Please come in, have a seat. May I call you Debbie?
So what’s troubling you today?
Yes. Yes, I understand. I hear this story from women all too frequently these days.
While he was wooing you he seemed like such a good listener, as if he really cared. He knew all the right things to say. It was enough to make a girl swoon.
I know: His vows seemed so sincere. He seemed like he’d be such a good partner.
And it turned out that all he cared about was your “lady parts.”
I know, Debbie, that this may seem like a terrible coincidence and, to be frank, I am breaking a confidence here… but not only have I heard this same sad story before, I’ve heard it about the very same man. I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I’m so tired of hearing of this guy hurting people with his suave deceptions. I’m sorry, Debbie, but since you got together with him he’s seduced quite a few other women. Whether you want to forgive him, to stick with him, is up to you — but you need to know.
If there is any good side to this, it’s that so many of the others have also seen him for the person he really is, which will make it harder for him to hurt others in the future. You know what they say about payback… and about a woman’s scorn.
And I understand why you feel that you can only talk to me about this. Yes, I know, admitting that you were so badly fooled makes you feel a little bit stupid, like a bad judge of character. You feel like you can’t talk to your friends about it, like you have to keep pretending that he makes you happy, that he fulfills your needs, that he makes you feel safe and secure, that he is the man he claimed to be — even though you now know that none of those things is true.
But, Debbie, my best advice for you is to face your fear directly, and talk to your friends about it. You’ll find them sympathetic, and at least a couple of them with the same experience. Sadly some will even have the same experience with the same man — but that says much more about him than about you. These conversations will give you the confidence to make the change you know is right
It’s often difficult to admit making a mistake, but true friends wouldn’t hold it against you, especially when you were really taken in by deception. Talking about it with people who share your experience, and particularly with women rather than with me, is really the best thing you can do.
But, Debbie, we really need to get one thing clear here which I think might help you move on to a healthier place, to clearer thinking, to being able to feel good about yourself again: an election is not a marriage.
Your vote for Barack Obama, no matter how much you might regret it, no matter how much you may feel like you were blind to his now-obvious insincerity, was not “until death do us part.” It’s OK to move on. It’s OK to break up. It’s OK to say “I like the other guy better.” It’s not cheating. It’s not breaking a promise: you never made one.
I’ve heard so many people say they’re trying to keep a relationship together, whether it’s “for the children” or just so they don’t feel like they’ve failed. But when it comes to politics, such thinking is not only misplaced. It is dangerous.
A smart, accomplished woman I know just learned that her husband was cheating on her and spending their family’s savings on bimbos who were just looking for a “sugar daddy.” If you were that woman, would you risk your children and what savings you have left to give the guy another chance? Of course not. You’re too smart for that.
Yet by asking you to stay with him, by trying to buy your vote with cheap rhetoric and other people’s money, by treating you as if you’re incapable of taking care of yourself, Barack Obama is treating you like the political version of a bimbo, when in fact he has betrayed you and hopes you’re too stupid to figure it out. But you’re not stupid, Debbie. You deserve better… and the betrayer is now realizing that you’ve started to see him for what he is. So he’s panicking, trying to woo you and scare you at the same time, not knowing what might work, which only reemphasizes how little he either cares about or understands you.
Perhaps the hardest part of your realization, Debbie, is admitting to yourself that you made a mistake, even if you were fooled into it, even if you were “fixed up” with him by people you trusted. Once you admit that, you can recognize that repeating the mistake this year would be a far greater error than the original one which was, after all, made by many people who were taken in, as you were, by pretty words and wanting to be part of something “historic.”
It may help to know that you’re not alone. From the soccer moms to the rich and famous, women everywhere are deciding that being part of history can’t be paid for by adding debt to our children at the fastest pace in history and can’t be tolerated while the government is looking to destroy your ability to get quality, affordable health care for your children and to be in charge of your own doctor-patient relationship.
It is indeed sad for the nation to have learned that our historic election was in the end a historic mistake. But as I’m sure you’ve often heard, the first step toward fixing a problem is admitting there is one.
It took a lot of courage for you to come see me today, Debbie. I’m very glad you have taken that first step. But you don’t need to just do this in the therapist’s office. You need to get out there and talk to your friends. Not only will it make you feel better about yourself, about your decision to move on from the man who has deceived you, but you may do others the favor of preventing them from staying in an abusive relationship.
It is not overtly or physically abusive, Debbie, but I know psychological abuse when I see it, and in this case you are a victim of Narcissistic Abuse by Barack Obama. Knowing the great mother that you are, I can only imagine that once you recognize that abuse, you will know the long-term danger it poses to you and to your children and how you must do everything in your power to keep them away from such a destructive force.
After all, when Barack Obama talks to you as if the only parts of you he cares about are below the waist and above the knees, how is he any different than the rude drunkard you slapped in that nightclub back in the 1980s? How is he different from your former teacher who you thought was a “sexist pig” who “objectified women”? How is he different from the repugnant person you’ve been teaching your young son not to be like, to instead be gentlemen? I’ll tell you, Debbie: He’s no different at all, and deserves to be treated accordingly. It’s time to break up with him once and for all, for your sake and for the sake of your children and their children.
Thank you so much for having the courage to come see me today. Yes, I’ll be glad to have another conversation with you, but I hope you will take the time in between to try to have a talk with some friends. It will help you and them more than you know.
See you next week, Mrs. Wasserman Schultz.
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