The First World Cup Without Beer: Sharia and Corruption in Qatar - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
The First World Cup Without Beer: Sharia and Corruption in Qatar
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A World Cup fan in Qatar before the games (Bloomberg Quicktake: Now/YouTube)

The main raison d’être of soccer is that it is an excuse to drink beer. The most widespread song in Spanish-speaking stadiums goes something like “we’ve come to get drunk/and we don’t care who wins.” As a soccer fan, that is, a Real Madrid fan, I don’t consider it a sport. Besides, if it were a sport, I would lose weight, and soccer is very fattening: you only have to look at the fans’ bellies.

At the height of the corruption in soccer’s elite, the World Cup has ended up in Islamic Qatar, a country at the forefront of money, oil, and whipping women. In the end, FIFA and other rotten institutions have forced the players to go to Qatar, play while pinching their noses while they look the other way from the abuses of human rights, and keep quiet about the number of enslaved workers who have died during the construction of the stadiums. These are their quaint customs, you know; in Rome they tell tourists “next you can see the Sistine Chapel,” and in Qatar they tell them, “and here the 6,499th worker was stripped naked during the construction of the World Cup stadium.”

I find it funnier about sexual relations outside marriage: seven to fifteen years in prison. The same amount of years in prison you can get for drug possession.

FIFA keeps bragging about how many customs the Qataris are going to change during the World Cup to make Westerners feel comfortable there. That’s the funniest joke I’ve ever heard in my life. It’s as funny as a suicide bombing.

You can’t kiss your wife in the street and you can’t talk about Islam, you can’t eat ham, bacon, or anything to do with pork. Everything had been about coping, when the most serious news broke Friday, casus belli: Qatar has banned beer at the World Cup. All eyes are now on the English hooligans, who are people who start drinking the day before the game and don’t finish until they wake up in hospital three or four days later, unable to remember their own name. The England goalkeeper, after hearing the news, said, “If they don’t let them drink, we’ll have to play better.”

FIFA boasted of an agreement with Qatar to allow fans to drink. That was a lie. Now Qatar says they are not going to change the Koran for some guys to come kick a ball around and of course, no alcohol. So beer will only be available in FIFA tents, will be restricted to the absurd amount of three beers per person, and will be priced like liquid gold. It’s going to be harder to get a beer in Qatar than it is to get a drink at an open bar at a wedding.

The World Cup is being played in Qatar because there were a lot of intermediaries, including politicians and managers of sports institutions, who were covered with dollars by the Qatari authorities. Someday we will know how much they have pocketed. But no matter how nice the stadiums have looked, don’t forget that Qatar is governed by Sharia, the Islamic law, with all its consequences. One of them, the prohibition of alcohol.

The progressive press has limited itself to timid protests because homosexuality is forbidden there and, between you and me, it’s not something that affects me. I find it funnier about sexual relations outside marriage: seven to fifteen years in prison. The same amount of years in prison you can get for drug possession. By the way: sports betting will also land you in jail. No sex, no drugs, no betting: what the hell are soccer players going to do then?

To top it off, Qatar ranks 18th on the World List of Persecution of Christians. Not bad, considering that it is only one place behind China, where they only need to chop them up and throw them into hamburgers like they do with dogs. Be that as it may, most World Cup fans are Christians, at least culturally, and are not guaranteed safety.

I would like to know why all the elites in the West, from politics to soccer, when it comes to Islamism, so enthusiastically practice the noble Olympic sport of shooting themselves in the foot. Be that as it may, I have been studying leftist propaganda campaigns for years and am learning something about their most effective methods. So, as a gesture of protest against the Qatari trampling on the rights of hooligans, and in solidarity with them, I will watch the World Cup from my TV set in Spain, with a small plate of Iberian ham, and I will be completely drunk from the first day to the last. Yes, I will watch the World Cup with my nose glued to a beer, as if I were a lousy Just Oil Stop activist in front of the Mona Lisa. And after all this, I’ll thank God for the medieval monks who made sure beer was safer than water.

Itxu Díaz
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Itxu Díaz is a Spanish journalist, political satirist, and author. He has written 10 books on topics as diverse as politics, music, and smart appliances. He is a contributor to The Daily Beast, The Daily Caller, National Review, American Conservative, and Diario Las Américas in the United States, as well as a columnist at several Spanish magazines and newspapers. He was also an adviser to the Ministry for Education, Culture, and Sports in Spain.
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