Study Finds John Kerry Worst Secretary of State In the History of Ever
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We all knew it. Even he probably knew it. But now, there’s scientific proof.

John Kerry is the worst Secretary of State in history according to a survey of professors at the top 25 foreign policy schools conducted by Foreign Policy Magazine, losing out, even, to “Don’t Know.”

Foreign Policy magazine this week announced the results of its 2014 Ivory Tower survey of 1,615 international relations scholars from 1,375 U.S. colleges.

One question they were asked was: “Who was the most effective U.S. secretary of state of the past 50 years?

The winner? Nobel Peace Prize winner Henry A. Kissinger, who was secretary for four years during the Nixon and Ford administrations. Since the Vietnam thing didn’t turn out so well, the scholars must have been grading him on openings to China and the Soviet Union when he was at the National Security Council?

Kissinger got 32.21 percent, extraordinary in such a large field.

“Don’t Know” came in a relatively distant second, with 18.32 percent.

James Baker — who was actually the most effective secretary in the last 50 years — came in third at 17.71 percent, just behind Dr. Know.

Former Obama Secretary of State Hillary Clinton tied with Clinton Secretary of State Madeline Albreight for fourth. Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice were 10th and 11th, respectively. Of the scholars who responded, Kerry earned exactly two votes, and came in after Lawrence Engleberger who was Secretary of State for a whole six weeks at the end of George H. W. Bush’s second term, and spent most of that time keeping the chair warm for the Clinton appointee.

Much of this probably has to do with Kerry’s abysmal failings in the Middle East, his reluctance to attend important international functions, and his preference for improving his wind surfing skills over attending to international crises. It also might have something to do with his international crusade against Global Warming, which, while consisting of much hot air, paper, effort and air travel (of of which, ironically, contribute to Global Warming) won’t produce fruits unless we all come to the universal conclusion that John Kerry saved us from a sudden and fiery death at the hands of a raging hole in the ozone layer – kind of hard to prove. 

At any rate, it’s nice to know our collective impression of Kerry’s effectiveness is objectively verified. 

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