I am astonished and impressed. I watch Joe Biden like you watch a rare bird at the zoo. If I don’t throw peanuts at him to find out how he eats, it’s only because he is too far away. It’s only fair to admit it. He’s the best at what he does — let’s face it! No matter how hard you search through the history of the most incompetent people to ever populate the White House, you won’t find anyone remotely close. It’s him. He is a walking accomplishment. A prodigy of science. He is number one. The best. Biden is the best at being a complete idiot.
Some idiots shine in situations of maximum tension and end up betraying their own incompetence; they get things right out of fear. Some are so stupid that sometimes, by mistake, they do something right when they wanted to do it wrong. But Biden goes beyond that. Biden is 100 percent high-class ineptitude. Biden is the only one capable of being wrong every time, every day, in everything.
Not that I had any doubts about it. I have always bet heavily on Biden being unfit for the presidency, and even less so as a leader of the West. But that doesn’t stop me from being amazed at his ability to take even more steps in the wrong direction. First, he doesn’t know anything. Then he misdiagnoses the problem every time. Then he studies the three worst ways to solve it, guaranteeing that none of them will end well. But then, at the height of his prowess, he has a knack for choosing the worst of them. Always the worst. He’s a genius. Don’t think it’s that simple. It also takes a certain talent to be that dumb.
He proved it to us again this week. Good. You have a problem with oil. You’ve got a problem that’s increased with the war in Ukraine, but you had it before. I mean, even before the war, you were trying really hard to deal with it really badly. Remember, Joe? Green energy and all that mumbo jumbo. The taxes you love so much. The cancellation of your own smart energy projects. Ruining industries and impoverishing workers. You had already done all that badly. But now, you have decided to make it all the more worse: you have gone to kneel, to ask for help, to the most disgusting (and also the most idiotic) dictator that you had within reach. You have gone to Nicolás Maduro to give wings to the murderous Venezuelan regime, to boost the morale of its tyrants, and to offer it a way out of its isolation with the West. To let him laugh at the United States, which is the country he hates the most in the world, and also the country he insults the most. You have given that orangutan the greatest joy of his life.
All, in the end, for a handful of oil that you may not even need any time soon. You’re the most useless guy to ever enter the White House, Joe, useless to the point of exoticism. I mean, I’m fascinated by your interplanetary stupidity. Science should analyze what’s left of your brain because analyzing your soul is something we couldn’t do without maximum protection suits against the most contagious and lethal viruses. You are a case apart, the greatest discovery of science, perhaps, the missing link.
Maduro is a despicable dictator who mistreats his people and finances the most corrosive and lethal ideas against freedom around the world. He is a great enemy of the United States and all that it stands for. Sending a delegation to canoodle with him is disrespectful to your people and to all the allies the Chavista regime attacks every chance it gets.
Yes, you have an oil problem and you want to isolate violent Putin. Okay. But to get close to Maduro is like looking for the gas leak by lighting yourself with a damn lighted match, Joe. Haven’t any of your advisors suggested that you shouldn’t be so miserable? Haven’t any of your friends told you that if you embrace Maduro, you’ll never sit at his table again? I don’t know, Joe, change your advisers and change your friends, or change your drug dealer. Maduro can recommend several.
Itxu Díaz is a Spanish journalist, political satirist, and author. He has written nine books on topics as diverse as politics, music, and smart appliances. His most recent book is Todo Iba Bien. He is a contributor to the Daily Beast, the Daily Caller, National Review, the American Conservative, The American Spectator, and Diario Las Américas in the United States, and is a columnist for several Spanish magazines and newspapers. He was also an adviser to the Ministry for Education, Culture, and Sports in Spain. Follow him on Twitter at @itxudiaz or visit his website: www.itxudiaz.com.
Translated by Joel Dalmau