Now that we know President Obama has tried to solve the Gulf Coast Oil Disaster by consulting with “Waterworld” star Kevin Costner and “Titanic” director James Cameron, we figured: why stop there?

Obama’s Slick Helpers
By Asher Embry

With Cameron and Costner, O’s started a list
Of off-the-wall big shots he’s asked to assist.

There are Beau and Jeff Bridges of Sea Hunt renown;
The Perfect Storm crew (although all of them drown).
Captain Ahab, of course, since he stalked Moby Dick
Would be perfectly suited to tame this oil slick.

Obama gets help keeping BP in check
With Ken Salazar putting Das Boot on their neck.
And if BP’s next cap-and-recovery plan fails
Will O call Captain Bligh with his cat-o’-nine-tails?

Then there’s Captain Jack Sparrow and young Nemo too.
The actors from Lost now have nothing to do.
Love Boat‘s Isaac and Gopher and Stubing and Doc
(Whose maritime skill’s surely nothing to mock).
Both Scheider and Dreyfuss could help in the fight
With the lessons they learned when they chased that Great White.

That’s a start, though we’re certain there’s still plenty more;
Just be thankful O never consulted Al Gore.

Though Obama insists that his head’s in the game,
It clear he’s most focused on shifting the blame.
But maybe the threat’s not as bad as we feared
Since the future’s now bright: Eric Holder’s appeared.

(You can read more of Asher Embry’s Political Verse at www.politicalverse.com.)