Lindsey Graham Is Confused By This Series of Tubes - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
Lindsey Graham Is Confused By This Series of Tubes

This weekend, the presumptive Republican Presidential candidates kicked off what will be the longest leg of their pre-campaign careers: the endless slog through farm-centric events in flyover country in a vain effort to win over Iowa’s caucus voters who haven’t actually selected a viable Presidential candidate in at least the last three contests. 

This weekend, the whole gaggle descended on the “Iowa Agricultural Summit” to pander to Iowans over the “Renewable Fuel Standard” that keeps middle-American farmers in business and to discuss how best to keep American corn on the menu across the globe (hint: they all like the RFS, which gives Iowa farmers extra cash for growing ethanol-grade crops, but some – like Cruz and Bush – prefer that the demand be natural and market-based and not artificially created by governmental demand). Lindsey Graham, largely expected to drop out of the race as soon as everyone realizes he’s running, reportedly did well – or at least well enough that he felt his Sunday morning visit to NBC’s Meet The Press could feature what he really thought about this whole Clinton email thing.

Turns out, Lindsey Graham has nothing to worry about when it comes to email. Because despite his deep commitment to leadership in all aspects of American life, he’s never sent one.

Maybe Hillary Clinton could have learned from Sen. Lindsey Graham: Never email.

The South Carolina Republican said Sunday on NBC’s “Meet the Press” that he’s never sent an email.

In a discussion about Clinton’s email controversy, NBC host Chuck Todd asked Graham if he has a personal email account.

“I don’t email,” Graham said. “You can have every email I’ve ever sent. I’ve never sent one.”

This is…confusing. It is, of course, almost impossible to communicate in this day and age without using some electronic means. Everyone in DC has a Blackberry, and iPhone, a tablet and a laptop, and most offices run on electronic communication. Apparently, except for Lindsey Graham, who has been sending smoke signals to his fellow Republicans and rolling up the fax paper. 

I have to believe him, too. Congressional emails don’t have the same transparency requirements that, say, the ones sent inside the State Department have. It’s very difficult to get ahold of Congressional communications, so it’s not as though Lindsey is trying to wave people off the scent by inferring that he has trouble turning on his computer in the morning and still has one of those car phones you have to attach a satellite receiver to. He’s probably being serious. He’s also probably being obtuse about his communications strategy to the everyday American, as his campaign will need to convince everyone that he’s about more than just bombing the snot out of a random Middle Eastern country. But, then again, he’s also Lindsey Graham. So it all could still be true.

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